I’m a Bachelor

I am 23 years old. And still a bachelor.

I am not against marriage or afraid of being tied to obligations. And I don't think it's the worst thing in the world, which some bachelor probably thinks so, that's why they're having fun to any girls (flirting, playing, f**king, whatever!)

Teenage marriage and pre-marital sex become norms to 'some' countries. And it seems, that culture will soon be embraced by 'all' countries, even in my homeland - Philippines.

I got the idea that "people can evolve together", so I thought, maybe …

Yeah, John Lennon & his wife Yoko did. They get closer and closer as the years went by. And at the end, they even had the same face!

So in my opinion, getting married is not something to rush. I'll just let time take its course. Allowing destiny and that lucky girl find me on the rightful time. Until one morning, I will hear a sweet voice mixed in the cold morning breeze waking me up saying, "Gising na hon, nakahanda na almusal. Sabay tayo."

It's just like when Adam was sleeping, and when he woke up, a gorgeous Eve was beside him as his wife.

Bye, I have to sleep. (I still have to dream on, mga 'tol!) 

Multiple Personality

 Oh really, you think I have multiple personalities?

Fine, no big deal and don't worry.

'Coz I'm pretty confident that at any rate,

I might be one of me.

Jehovah’s Witness Against Blood Transfusion

Isa ito sa mga doktrina o aral na sinasampalatayanan ng mga Saksi ni Jehova, isang samahang relihiyon na nagpasimula sa Amerika na itinayo ni Charles Taze Russel.

Maging sa Pilipinas ay nakarating ang pananampalatayang ito na naniniwalang sagrado ang dugo at bawal kainin, kaya raw bawal sa kanila ang blood transfusion.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung paano sila nakarating sa ganoong konklusyon, na ang pagsasalin ng dugo upang magligtas ng buhay ng tao ay katulad na rin ng direktang pagkain nito mula sa bibig.

At noong January 31, 2007, ay may nabalitang kaso ng sextuplet birth mula sa isang pamilyang mananampalataya na Saksi ni Jehovah. Ang kasong ito ay umabot sa korte ng makialam ang B.C. government sa Canada upang iutos ang pagsasalin ng dugo sa mga sanggol makaraang dalawa sa sextuplets ay namatay na dahil sa pagtutol ng pamilya. Ito raw ay paglabag sa kanilang karapatan kontra sa kanilang pananampalataya.

Bagaman isa ang relihiyong ito sa masigasig na magimprenta ng mga Biblia at mag-alok ng iba pa nilang publikasyon at magasin upang ibenta sa bahay-bahay, marami pa ring kakaibang paniniwala ang samahang ito na kumukontra di lamang sa gobyerno at medisina, kundi wala pang sapat na batayang syientipiko o bibliko man.

Narito ang istorya ni Joy Castro, na nalathala sa iba’t ibang publikasyon at maging sa kanyang libro na The Truth Book tungkol sa kanyang karanasan bilang dating kasapi sa Saksi ni Jehovah. [read the full story]

The Story of Joy Castro

 A TRUE STORY 

    There were problematic things in my particular situation growing up, aside from issues of blood transfusion, which were not necessarily related to our religion. I realized my family was different beginning when I went to preschool in England. I was three years old then, and my understanding of the difference between me and other students just continued to grow as I continued on in school.

    There were particular activities that I was not permitted by my mother to take part in, such as birthdays for the other children. If someone brought birthday cake or cupcakes, I was not allowed to partake. If the children made decorations for different holidays I did not celebrate, I would go sit in the hall or another room away from the class. Jehovah’s Witnesses at that time, and I believe still, did not celebrate Christmas or birthdays, Halloween or Easter. There were numerous occasions during the year when other children would hold celebrations and I would not participate.

    When we returned to the United States, I was six years old. I attended first grade in the U.S., and of course then there was the Pledge of Allegiance. Since Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t pledge their allegiance to any nation, sitting still and silent in my chair was a daily reminder of the fact that I was different.

In my particular household, we prayed at least twice a day, attended “meetings” (which is what we called church services) at the Kingdom Hall or at the home of another member three times a week: two hours on Sunday, one hour on Tuesday evening and two hours on Thursday evening. Each of these meetings required a certain amount of preparation, so we would read texts published by the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society in advance.

    Participation, in my experience, simply meant that when the brother, or the man in charge, would ask the pre-printed questions in the text, one of us would volunteer to answer. As much time as possible was spent going door-to-door preaching or ‘out in service,’ sharing principles of the Jehovah’s Witness faith with other people, whom we called ‘worldly people,’ with the intention of saving, helping and converting them.

    Because I was doing this from an extremely early age, it just seemed normal. I thought it was right; I thought it was for God. I was a believer, I think the way almost anyone born into a religion is a believer. But I was also kind of shy and didn’t really enjoy going up to the doors of perfect strangers and knocking and telling them stuff I was trained to tell them. There’s a lot of preparation and coaching for that. The Jehovah’s Witnesses have what they call a Theocratic Ministry School, and they give practice presentations so that people of all ages can learn how to present materials at the doors of worldly people. I had been trained in that from the age of five. It was uncomfortable, but I thought I was doing a kind thing for worldly people.

    I ran away from home at 14 years old and continued to go to the Kingdom Hall on my own for about a year afterwards. I had started to have questions about the belief system starting at about 11 or 12, and when I finally did run away, I was able to pursue those questions more vigorously. For me, the religion just didn’t hold up logically, and it didn’t feel like a compassionate religion. And so at 15 years old, I ceased going.

    I had been expected to become baptized, which is what Jehovah’s Witnesses encourage children to do when they are at the age of reason. For most, this is during the early teens, and that had been the expectation for me, but I quit before I went through baptism.

    When I was a younger child, my mother was certainly aware I had questions, because I asked some of them of her. I think I was a frustrating child for her in some ways because of that. During the period when I was 12 to 14 years old, she was remarried to an extremely abusive man, so the three of us – my mother, brother and I - were basically in survival mode, and my questioning was pretty dormant. But before that, I had bothered her with questions about various beliefs we held.

    My parents had been divorced for two years at that point, and my father had been disfellowshipped by the religion, which is comparable to being excommunicated. He was expelled for smoking cigarettes, and when my mother remarried, we were forbidden to see him at all, and that was represented to us by our new stepfather, a Jehovah’s Witness, as being based in scripture. I had not seen my real father for over a year, and so when I ran away, I ran away to his house, which was an hour away in West Virginia. He was worldly and disfellowshipped, which meant he was considered an ‘apostate.’ An apostate is one who has known Jehovah and the ‘true faith’ and who has turned their back. It was really quite heretical for me to go to my father’s home.

    My brother is five years younger than me and was the biological child of my father and mother.

    Our mother, for reasons that I do not know or understand, was not a particularly attentive mother, and my brother was a particularly curious child. So, he would get into trouble physically and put himself in risky situations. I was worried about him and tried hard to protect him and keep him from danger. We lived in a very remote rural area, so I was concerned about the fact that if one of us was badly injured, it would take an hour or more to get to the hospital, and blood transfusions were not an option for us because of our faith. But, having been raised that way, I did believe that was morally right. It was just a chronic, low-grade fear – just something in the back of my mind.

    I’ve heard of instances where parents refuse their children certain treatments based on the faith, such as the case of the sextuplets born in Vancouver, Canada. I’m relieved for the sake of the children that the state stepped in to allow the blood transfusions. There are many religious systems around the world that feel it’s okay to physically damage children in the name of God or faith, and that’s a concern for me. Children don’t have autonomy yet; they can’t speak their choice, and the parents are making it for them. Of course, I understand that parents make most choices for their children, but when we see a parent abusing a child or starving a child, we intervene. I think it’s appropriate and humane for us to do that.

    However, if children have already been given blood transfusions, I believe that most Jehovah’s Witnesses are compassionate and kind enough to not hold that against the children. It was not an act of the children’s will either way.

    If the children grow up to be Jehovah’s Witnesses, presumably they’ll be treated well in a warm and friendly environment.

    I formed a lot of insights about hypocrisy growing up. So much so, that I had to write a book about it! (laughs) I learned that sometimes the idea of love is absent in religion, that systems of belief can have logical inconsistencies and that people are perfectly willing to be hypocritical when it serves their needs. I learned that someone who holds a position of religious and moral authority isn’t necessarily a good person. It was surprising to me as a young person that violence could be employed in the name of God and of love.

    That happened in my family. My mother’s husband was physically violent with her, my brother and me to a severe extent, in the name of the faith. He quoted scripture and made sure we got to every meeting, but he was also emotionally, physically and sexually abusive, and he ritually underfed us; I ran away because I feared being raped by him. (Not long after I left home, he was arrested, convicted, and imprisoned for molesting a nine-year-old girl.) I don’t blame the Jehovah’s Witnesses for my experience. Abusers can exist in any kind of organization. Most of the Witnesses I knew were kind, gentle people who meant well and whom I liked and respected.

    For me, the source of strength and hope in my life has always been connected to love of people and treating them compassionately. Today, I meditate and pray, though I do not belong to an organized religious structure. I’d be one of those spiritual, not religious box-checkers. I studied religion in college, trying to get an objective handle on it.

    I’m interested in the essences of world religions, and I try to live by the Golden Rule of treating others with as much love and respect as you want to be treated.

    I think my mother felt very betrayed that I ran away and that I would choose to leave her religion. We did try over the years, sporadically and with good intentions, to have some kind of relationship. But then we’d go through long fallow periods where it was too difficult for one or both of us to communicate. At this point, after the publication of my piece in the New York Times Magazine (and the subsequent publication of my book), she does not communicate with me at all. She’s now a nurse and hospital administrator specializing in ‘bloodless options,’ which are alternatives to blood transfusions. I don’t have a clear sense of what those medical options are, but I think they have to do with plasma. I could be wrong.

    My brother and I are very close. About six months after I ran away, we were able to have him removed by the police from my mother and stepfather because of my testimony. He went to the Kingdom Hall with me for a little while and then stopped when I stopped. He is now not a member of an organized religion and is a happy, productive working adult with a family.

    I’ve moved on, too. Writing a book that allowed me to process, re-live and deal with it all has made it less painful to talk about now. Writing a memoir is cathartic and puts some kind of order into the chaos of a life. But the scars don’t just disappear. Because of the violence in my childhood, I struggled for years with symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

    I’ve been helped with that by some great therapists.

    But it’s also been lonely. If you grow up very abnormally and then decide to join mainstream society, there are just all kinds of gaps and absences, and you have to go back and fill in a lifetime of feeling odd, strange, outcast, excluded, et cetera. Jehovah’s Witnesses are very socially exclusive in that they hang out mostly with each other. That was my whole social life growing up, and when I left, I left behind the only friends I had, the only social norms I knew.

    Growing up in such an isolated, exclusive way damaged my social skills as a kid, which is probably why I became an academic. (laughs) You feel very alone in the world, and then when you join that world, you don’t necessarily have the skills to integrate. And then there’s the pain of losing family. I miss my mother. I know she meant well and was motivated by love, but she loved her religion more than she loved me and my brother. That’s painful. It’s a very demanding faith system.

    When Jehovah’s Witnesses approach me now, I tell them I’m an apostate, and that ends the conversation quickly. I don’t know if it’s a polite way to end the conversation, but it’s certainly effective.

[Read Related Post]

1000+ Popular Pinoy Text Messages (Part 8 of 8)

DISCLAIMER

Ang bawat text message na ito ay walang kaugnayan sa personal kong pananaw at pag-uugali. Ang koleksyong ito ay mahigit 1,000 mga text message at maaaring ilan dito ay naglalaman ng mga pananalitang hindi angkop sa inyong panlasa.

Hindi ibig sabihing ito ay angkop naman sa akin, at hindi po ako ang kumatha ng mga ito. Ito ay pawang kathang Pinoy na natanggap mo na rin sa message inbox ng iyong mobile phone na maaaring natuwa ka ring i-forward sa iba o kaya'y na-badtrip sa kung ano mang kadahilanan.

Ang mga ito ay maaaring sumalamin sa pagiging masayahin ng mga Pinoy sa kabila ng mga problemang kinakaharap (txt jokes), o pagiging mapagmahal (txt love) at maalalahanin (txt friend, txt greetings, txt quotes, txtcetra) sa pamilya, kaibigan, o sa kaya’y sa sinisinta.

Siguro naman, kung mabasa ninyo na ito at ipabasa din sa iba, hindi na ito ikagugulat. Kung nais niyo namang gawin itong reperensya o archive na mapagkukunan ng mga text message na muling maipapasa, kayo na ang bahala, labas na ako sa usapang iyon at hindi ako promoter ng mga ito at sponsoran ang sinoman sa kanyang e-load.

Kung nais naman ninyong kumuha ng mga sipi sa anomang partikular na text message o kaya kopyahin ito ng buo mula dito sa aking blog, ay magagawa ninyo ito ng may kalayaan. Pero mas maiging ilagay na lamang ninyo ang mga orihinal na links mula dito kung saan ninyo nakuhang pahina. Ito'y bilang kortesiya sa mas malayang pakikipagpalitan ng impormasyon.

O sya, sapat na siguro yun para sa pormalidad. Banat na!

(Part 8 ) Karugtong …

TXT LOVE / MISS U

• Loving is not what we see but what we feel, not how we listen but how we understand, not how we forget but how we forgive. Loving is holding on even when the pain dares you to let go.

• Boy: I saw her. Still pretty and she looks so happy. Girl: I saw him. I felt like crying but I won't let him notice that. Boy: I wonder if she's now taken, maybe, she is. Girl: I'm still single, can't seem to find someone who could take his place. Boy: I know she's angry. Girl: After all he's done, I couldn't get angry. Boy: I'm coward not to choose her. Girl: He was brave enough to choose the one he truly loves. Boy: I regret it. Girl: Wish he never left. Boy: I love her but it's too late, she doesn't love me anymore. Girl: I love him still but I should move on. =(

• Learn to love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others. For anyone can love a rose, but only a great heart can include the thorns.

• Here is a sweet truth: "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." Here is the bitter catch: "When you kept on waiting but nobody came, it means that you've already let that one pass you by."

• Sometimes, when you love someone very much, you have to go thru every tear, every heartache, every pain. Because in the end, it's not how you suffered, but how much you loved!

• Once, I asked myself, "Is love a multiple choice test or is it true or false?" Out of nowhere, a voice answered, "Sorry to tell you this, but love is a thousand word essay."

• In the maze of love, try not to lose yourself, so that when love is no longer willing to stay, you still have the greatest possession and gift that no one could take away… yourself.

• Joey said to Dawson in Dawson's Creek, "I fell in love twice, first was with you, second was the person you became when you're already mine…" Sweet noh?

• We don't look for love because it's lonely to be watching movies alone, because it's sad to eat meals on your own, because it's nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days. We look for love because we want to be accepted, for the sloppy ways we dress, for the clumsy way we eat our meals, for bad hair days and for the simplicity in us. Love is an act of acceptance, that with all our imperfections, we are accepted and loved.

• A cute love story: There was a little boy whose first love was a young girl in a picture which he found and picked from the street. As time went by, he got married, but still kept it. One day, the wife found it and asked, "Where did you get this?" The man said, "I kept that since I was a child, why?" The girl replied, "I lost this picture when I was 9…"

• Walang pinipili ang pag-ibig, kahit mahirap ka pa o mayaman. Pero paano kung minahal ka ng isang mahirap at isang mayaman, sino ang pipiliin mo? The one who has everything or the one who has nothing but willing to give everything?

• What's the hardest part in ending a relationship? Not the feeling of letting go, not the part of goodbye, but going through every damn day and having to remember it.

• Two dilemma that rattle my mind: How do I get rid of someone who won't go and how do I hang on to someone who won't stay. Sakit sa ulo!

• You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

• No man is worth a woman's tears. And the one who is, will never make her cry.

• Don’t love the person that you think is right. Instead love the person you think is true. It’s easier to think what is right than to see what is true.

• Hindi mo raw agad malalamang mahal mo na ang isang tao, madalas kasi bulag ka sa totoo at akala mo iba ang gusto mo. Pero sa huli, mararamdaman mong mahal mo na pala sya, kapag nalaman mong… iba na ang mahal niya.

• The moment you found someone that makes your heart beat, stop the search and take the risk. Remember that the world is a big place that if you lost the one you love, you have to search the world again.

• Masarap magmahal kung ikaw lang ang mahal nya. Masarap magmahal kung talagang seryoso sya. Pero wala nang mas sasarap pa kung sasabihin nya, "Alam mo, kuntento na ko sayo…"

• I can never say how my life would go and how long I'd stay alive. All I know is that even we're miles apart, you'd always be one of the sweetest piece of puzzle completing my life.

• What if you love the wrong person? Are you going to give up or hold on? Maybe you need to do nothing, just continue loving. Who knows? Maybe that love might be enough to make that person the right one.

• True love covers the eyes to see no wrong. True love darkens reason to consider every situation. True love loves more when it hurts much. True love is still true even to the point of letting go. =(

• Let go of the hand of the person you love, but don't let go of God's hand for when you hold His hand, He might be holding the person you love on His other hand to let you hold each other in time.

• Ang love, parang work. Mahirap pero masaya, maraming kakumpetensya, pero kinakaya. May dayoff at overtime, tapos, minsan, may bonus pa. Eh paano kung pagod ka na? Magreresign ka na lang ba??

• Three people you will meet in life: First is the one you love most, second is the one who loves you most and the third is the one you spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person. The one you love most doesn't love you. The one who loves you the most is never the one you love the most, and the one you spend your life with, is neither the one you love nor the one who loves you the most. He/she is just the person who happens to be a the right place at the right time.

• Love is like a war, easy to begin but hard to end. So when you fall in love, choose the one who is willing to fight the war with you until the end.

• I believe in everything, love at first sight, happy endings, destiny, fairy tales and even magic. Pero nasaktan ako, tama nga sila, ano? No words can ever define love, kundi "katangahan".

• Love is not blind. It sees but it does not mind.

• One night the moon said "If he makes you cry then why don't you leave him?" I paused for awhile then looked back at the moon and said "Moon, would you ever leave your sky?"

• I love you so much but you said we're better off as friends. I cried but it didn't help much coz' you love someone new and because of her, you forgot that you once said you love me too. =(

• In love, never put yourself on a situation where you're not sure where you stand in a person's life. Never assume, never expect, so that if they choose to drop you, you have enough strength to move on.

• I want my eyes to be your eyes so you could see how wonderful you are, I want my heart to be your heart so you could feel how much you mean to me, and I want my ear to be your ear so you could hear me whisper "I love you."

• People like you are found only once in a lifetime. I want to be sure that I'm not going to spend that lifetime looking for another you! I'm happy I met you!

• You told me you miss me, but you don't. You told me you care for me but you don't. You told me I'm special but I'm not. Then you told me the truth that you don't love me, I smiled and said, "I know."

• I wish I was a tear in your eyes so that I can roll down on your cheeks, touch lips and die happy but if you were a tear in my eyes, I will try hard not to cry coz I'm afraid to lose you.

• You may have someone in your heart and in your mind, you may have someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I am your someone when you have no one.

• Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someday, the one who is made by God for you will come and fill those gaps by holding your hands forever.

• Saying goodbye makes you realize how much you love, how much you will miss and how much loss you had… knowing that the person will never be yours at all.

• It is really painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but it is even more painful to ask the person to stay even if you can never make it work out the way it should be.

• To love someone is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you ang give you joy and strength, but sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

• The best part of loving is not wishing that the person loves you as much as you do, but in the feeling that you love the person for more than you thought you could.

• People seldom say 'I love you' and when they do, it's either too late or the love is gone. But when I say 'I love you' it doesn't mean you have to stay, but I wish you'd never go away.

• How would you know if he really loves you? It's when you scream, he's calm. When you slap him, he kisses you. When you cry, he hugs you. When you tell him you hate him, he tells you he loves you!

• Falling in love with you is the second best thing in the world… Finding you is the first!

• I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on, my ears to listen to, my hand for you to hold, my feet to walk with you, but I can't lend you my heart coz it already belongs to you.

• 50 years from now, I'd be so old, I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… But I won't.

• I've always wanted to be free, to fly away and never return… but then, somewhere beyond that, I wish to be owned, to be held, and never be let go.

• When you find faults from someone you love, hold on, don't judge nor doubt but trust and understand that someone is doing best to love you more. Remember, love has nothing to explain.

• Nagkamali ka na ba sa isang taong akala mo kaibigan mo lang? Na kapag nakuha ng iba, balewala lang, kaso, nung nawala na sya, nasabi mo na lang, "Tanga ko, mahal ko pala sya!"

• Ako? Ako yung "nothing", as in, nothing para sa 'yo, kasi, alam ko na meron ka nang "your everything." Pero sana, alam mo na kapag nawala si "everything", dyan lang si "nothing" to give you "everything."

• Days can be so tough and at times cruel, too much for one to be alone, when you feel that you can't hold on any longer, I'll take your hand and we'll go thru with it together. I'll be here and that's forever.

• In my dreams you gave me your heart. In my dreams we were never apart. In my dreams you kept me close. In my dreams you loved me the most. In my dreams we're always together… might as well be dreaming forever…

• When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy like the way you do.

• If you could choose between life and death you would almost rather die, love is fun but hurts so much the price you pay is high. And so I say don't fall in love, you will get hurt before you're through. You see my friend, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.

• If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your shoulder and hold you close to me and answer with a smile: "Like this!"

• Kapag naiisip kita, napapangiti ako. Kapag namimiss kita, kinikilig ako. Kapag sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na mahal kita, nasasaktan ako. Kasi, tinatanong ko sa sarili ko, "Ako kaya, mahal mo?"

• X - bansag sa mga past lovers natin. But don't you know na sa Math, X stands for unknown? Talaga bang kinalimutan mo na sya? O talagang hindi na kinikilala kahit mahal mo pa? =(

• Minsan, itinutulak mo ang isang tao palayo sa iyo, kasi, alam mong babalik din sya. Pero mag-ingat ka sa pagtulak mo. Kasi, baka kapag narealize mong mahalaga sya sa iyo, hindi mo na sya mahila pabalik sa iyo.

• Minsan, pasaway talaga ang tao, hindi mo naman inaaya, darating at sasali sa mundo mo. Ang masakit, kung kelan apektado ka na sa kanya, saka pa sya aalis tangay ang mundong dating sa iyo lang. =(

• Love is like handling someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger. - Spongebob.

• Don't be afraid to take chances even if it might get you hurt. Just be strong and take it because you might miss that single chance that would change your life and make you really happy.

• When you know things are not meant for you, learn to let go. It doesn't mean you are weak but you are strong. Strong enough to fight the urge of wanting something you are not supposed to have.

• Sometimes, two people decide to be just friends even if they still love each other and I often wonder why? I suppose it's not the love that's so hard to sustain, but the commitment that complicates everything.

• Love is complex, it can hurt, it can be great. But never ask anyone to define love because love was never meant to be explained, it is supposed to be felt.

• Pinilit kong huwag magtext dahil alam kong istorbo lang ako. Pero talagang hindi ko matiis na hindi ka kumustahin! Magalit ka na, pero miss lang talaga kita!

• Gusto mo bang malaman kung gaano ka kahalaga? Hindi ako sasagot, hahawakan ko na lang ang kamay mo at ilulublob sa kumukulong tubig at sasabihing, "Masakit, di ba? Ganyan kapag nawala ka." =)

• Kung andito ka siguro sa tabi ko, wala siguro akong magagawa kundi titigan ka, tumingin sa mga mata mo, pero sabay ng pagtitig ko sa iyo ang dalanging sana, hindi ka mawala sa buhay ko.

• Kapag in love, ang sarap ng feeling. Kapag nasaktan, ang hirap tanggapin. Hindi mo alam kung biro, hindi mo alam kung totoo. Pero isa lang ang totoo. Love ko yung nagbabasa nito na kapag nawala sa buhay ko, mababaliw ako! =)

• Happy lunch time! Simpleng salita, simpleng bati, pero para sa akin, malalim dahil sa simpleng salitang yun, nasabi kong naalala kita bago ako kumain. =)

• Masaya lang tayo kapag may mga messages, minsan kahit na walang kwenta, basta galing sa mahal mo, masaya ka na! Kapag galing ba sa akin, masaya ka ba? Kahit wala akong kwenta?

• Ano ba ang pagmamahal? Yun bang pinaiyak ka na, pinatawad mo pa? Yun bang binabalewala ka na, hinahanap mo pa? Yun bang nagmamahal na ng iba, minamahal mo pa? O yun bang kinalimutan ka na, umaasa ka pa?

• Mahirap para sa akin ang hindi ka makita, mahirap para sa akin ang hindi ka makasama. Mahirap para sa akin ang mawala ka. Pero mas mahirap para sa akin ang ibigay mo ako sa iba kahit alam mong mahal kita.

• Galing ni God no? Alam Nya kung san magiging masaya ang tao, kung saan pwede magmahal at mahalin ng totoo. Kung saan yung langit dito sa mundo. Kaya pala nilagay niya ako malapit sa 'yo

• Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi mo sya hahayaang mawala sa iyo. Hindi sasaktan, hindi paglalaruan, hindi paaasahin, hindi babalewalain kundi iingatan at ipaglalaban. At higit sa lahat, hindi mo papalitan!

• Heart and brain were fighting. Heart said, "Idelete mo na sya! Stupid!" Mind replied, "Nagmamarunong ka pa dyan, how would I discard if I see you bleed every time I try?"

• Bakit yung iba, ang bilis kong palitan. Bakit sila, hindi ko iniiyakan. Bakit kapag iba, wala akong pakialam. Pero bakit kapag ikaw na, ang hirap mong kalimutan. =(

• Minsan, nakakatakot nang magmahal, hindi mo alam, baka masaktan ka lang ulit. Pero ganun naman talaga ang love di ba? Magsasayang ka muna ng maraming luha bago mo matagpuan ang taong kailanman ay hindi ka na iiwan pa.

• Don't be afraid to put your trust to someone who will love you completely, because not all fears are right and love doesn't always end in pain. Who knows? The one you've been waiting for has always been with you.

• What if the person you love sacrifice you just to have another love? Would you fight and never give up? Ako? Lalayo na lang. Why? Isinuko nya ako eh, tapos ipaglalaban ko sya? Kalokohan!

• If you make talikod to me, I will not be galit. I will just panood you lakad, but if suddenly you dapa, I'll say, You kasi eh, not making ingat. Come here nga, I'll make you yakap!

• Minsan, naiisip ko, bakit ba kita nakilala? Para saan at dumating ka? Pero napapatahimik na lang ako tapos napapangiti. Baka kasi akalain ni Lord, nagrereklamo ako! Mahirap na. Baka bawiin ka nya. Ayoko nga!

• What if I tell you to forget me, would you? If I ask you to go, would you obey? If I tell you to leave me alone, will you? Sana, matigas ang ulo mo at hindi mo hayaang mawala ako.

• Kinatok mo ang puso ko, pinatuloy kita. Pero tumigil ka sa pinto, nag-isip ka pa yata! Tanong ko lang, tutuloy ka pa ba? Kasi, hindi na ako magpapapasok pa ng iba kapag nasa loob ka na.

• Kapag may bagay na mawawala sa akin, pwedeng huwag ikaw? Kung may taong lalayo sa akin, sana, hindi ikaw. Kung may taong makakasama ako habambuhay, favor naman o. Pwede, ikaw na lang?

• Sagutin mo ito ha. Kung mahal mo talaga ang isang tao, maaayos mo itong letters na ito in 3 words. "ETYEFSUEOR" Kapag hindi mo nasagot, means, hindi ka marunong magmahal. Hintayin ko ang sagot ha!

• My heart says I have to take care of you. I should make sure that no one will harm you. But I just can't always be there for you, so please, konting ingat naman. Alam mo naman na mahal na mahal kita.

• Love isn't about luxurious things in the world. It isn't about driving a BMW, nor living in New York. Love is about that someday, you two will be able to reach your dreams, helping out each other. Love is about trust, even if everything falters. Love is about giving without expecting anything. Love is about sharing happiness and pain as well. Love is about accepting that person even if others can't. Love is about holding on, even if all else fail.

• Love is a noble act of self-giving. The more you love, the more you lose a part of you. Yet you do not become less of who you are, but you end up being complete.

• Simple lang akong tao, simple manamit, simple pumorma, simple magmahal at simple mahalin. Pero kahit simple lang ako, namimili din ng special na mamahalin.

• God puts certain person in our lives for a reason, and whatever God had in mind for bringing you into mine, I don't really mind. I'm just thankful He did! =)

• You may never see how much I care for you. You may never hear how much I treasure you. You may never feel how much I miss you. Coz only here in my heart can you see them true.

• I have you! If you hate me, shoot me with an arrow, but please not on the heart coz that's where you are!

• Someone misses you so much, its not your family nor your relatives. Its not even your bestfriend nor your closests pal. Its just the simple ordinary me, who misses the extraordinary.

• If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do and I will.

• Never doubt someone's love for you. If you find some imperfections, let it be. If you survived the pain, the happiness is satisfying. Never find the perfect love, because love without pain is impossible.

• The fate of love is that it is always too little or too much. Don’t live your life with someone you want to live with; live it with someone you can’t live without.

• You might find it easy to fall in love with someone, the hard thing is how to keep that someone forever. But that is the challenge of love, fighting, without knowing how to win!

• We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

• A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for him, it's when he ignores you and still you long for him. It's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you.

• If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.

• Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.

• In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.

• There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we let go.

• If you really love someone never let go, don't believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that's what true love is.

• It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

• Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.

• Relationships are like traffic signs, 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no U turn, no left turn. But the best so far is give way and keep right.

• Many believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled, but love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands, for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it lasts and freely open our arms when it's time to say goodbye.

• Don't tie your heart to a person who has nothing to offer you. You may say you're in love, you might even say he/she is your soulmate. But is that enough to fill your need for love? Let go. It might hurt for a while, but when you get over it, you'll find it's for the better.

• You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting, but in the arms of someone who will take you now, love you forever, and leave you never, right?

• If you really love someone, you wouldn't have the heart to hurt that person no matter what it takes. You will always find a way to make her happy, because that is what constitutes love among people. You are overjoyed when you see her happy. That's true love. Seeing happiness in her eyes is enough to prove what love is.

• Sometimes in life, we ask and seek for someone we can have and keep, but there's nothing much you can really do but to wait for the right person whose quest in life is nothing else but to find you too!

• Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love someone knowing it might end anytime.

• People have different outlooks in love. But whatever are those, there's a single truth behind everyone's heartache. "Love hurts when God knows we deserve someone else."

• If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go for whatever makes you happy. Unless you want everybody to be happy for you except you being happy for yourself.

• Be happy when God answers your prayer. But be more thankful when God makes you the answer to someone else's. "Ikaw yun for me!"

• If you're falling for someone pero natatakot kang masaktan, makinig ka. If you're into it, why not? Huwag mong isipin kung saan ka babagsak, malay mo, yung makasalo sa iyo ay yung taong para sa iyo talaga!

• Never let go of anyone that you couldn't go a day without thinking about. There just might be a very good reason why they're always on your mind. Sometimes, it's the brain that knows too well what the heart tries so hard to deny.

• If you find yourself in love with someone else who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just did not choose to rest in the other person's heart. Let it go. There's a reason and a meaning. You will know in time.

• Don't rush into falling in love, for love never runs out. Even if they mock you because you are single, just tell them this: "God is just busy writing the best love story that will swipe me off my feet!"

• Love changes you. The way you act, the way you think, the way you decide. Sometimes, you even go against your principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn't always mean you'll be happy. But you will soon realize that it is better if the person you love would be happy with someone else, than lonely with you. That's what you call sacrifice.

• If one star will fall everytime I miss you, all stars will be out of the sky now. So, if ever there be no more stars tonight, it's all your fault, you make me miss you so much.

• Great minds contain ideas, solutions and reasons; scientific minds contain formulas, theories and figures; my mind contains only you.

• If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss you, would you ramdam the same?

• Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me anymore. That's why.

• Ayoko sana ikaw itext, kasi, gusto kong mamiss mo rin ako at maisip mo na mahalaga rin ako sa 'yo. Yun nga lang, sensya na, hindi ako kasing tibay mo, na masaya kahit wala ako.

• Day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel to be always together yet forever apart?

• I've tried the water company, the electric company, the telephone company, but what I miss most is your company. Take care!

• In my life, I learned to love, to smile, to be happy, to be strong, to work hard. But I did not learn how to forget a nice person like you!

• Why do I text you? It's my choice. It's my way of saying I remember you. Why do I remember you? It's my choice. It proves that I care. Why do I care? I don't know, it's not my choice but my heart's.

• Alam ko, namimiss mo na ako. Ayaw mo lang ipaalam, kaya ako na ang magtetext sa 'yo. You miss me!

• Masakit isiping di mo man lang ako maalalang i-text. Kunsabagay ganyan ka naman eh, don't text back, wag ka ng magpaliwanag dahil damang dama ko wala kang LOAD.

• Lagi kitang kinukumusta, tinatanong kung ok ka. Inaalala kahit malayo ka, pero pinakagusto kong sabihin, "Sana, kasama kita para masaya." Kasi, alam mo, "Iba kapag andito ka!" I miss you!

• Gusto ko sanang kasama ka, kasi, espesyal ka sa akin. Gusto ko sanang katabi ka, kasi, love kita. Gusto ko sanang yakapin ka, kasi, miss na kita. Pero gustuhin ko man lahat yun, hindi pwede kasi malayo ka.

• Kailangan pa ba kitang itext para maalala mo ako? Kailangan bang lagi akong nauunang magparamdam? Bakit ka ganyan? Wala kang load? Busy ka? Magpapapansin pa ba ako sa iyo para maramdaman mong nagtatampo na ako.

1000+ Popular Pinoy Text Messages (Part 7 of 8)

DISCLAIMER

Ang bawat text message na ito ay walang kaugnayan sa personal kong pananaw at pag-uugali. Ang koleksyong ito ay mahigit 1,000 mga text message at maaaring ilan dito ay naglalaman ng mga pananalitang hindi angkop sa inyong panlasa.

Hindi ibig sabihing ito ay angkop naman sa akin, at hindi po ako ang kumatha ng mga ito. Ito ay pawang kathang Pinoy na natanggap mo na rin sa message inbox ng iyong mobile phone na maaaring natuwa ka ring i-forward sa iba o kaya'y na-badtrip sa kung ano mang kadahilanan.

Ang mga ito ay maaaring sumalamin sa pagiging masayahin ng mga Pinoy sa kabila ng mga problemang kinakaharap (txt jokes), o pagiging mapagmahal (txt love) at maalalahanin (txt friend, txt greetings, txt quotes, txtcetra) sa pamilya, kaibigan, o sa kaya’y sa sinisinta.

Siguro naman, kung mabasa ninyo na ito at ipabasa din sa iba, hindi na ito ikagugulat. Kung nais niyo namang gawin itong reperensya o archive na mapagkukunan ng mga text message na muling maipapasa, kayo na ang bahala, labas na ako sa usapang iyon at hindi ako promoter ng mga ito at sponsoran ang sinoman sa kanyang e-load.

Kung nais naman ninyong kumuha ng mga sipi sa anomang partikular na text message o kaya kopyahin ito ng buo mula dito sa aking blog, ay magagawa ninyo ito ng may kalayaan. Pero mas maiging ilagay na lamang ninyo ang mga orihinal na links mula dito kung saan ninyo nakuhang pahina. Ito'y bilang kortesiya sa mas malayang pakikipagpalitan ng impormasyon.

O sya, sapat na siguro yun para sa pormalidad. Banat na!

(Part 7) Karugtong …

TXT QUOTES

• To be kind is more important than to be right. Sometimes all a person need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens.

• Sometimes we wish we were small, wish we were somewhere, wish we had something. But sometimes we wish too much that we miss to enjoy who we are, where we are and what we have.

• Never regret the choices you've made, always be satisfied with what you have now. Life isn't perfect. It's a blend of joy and sorrow, it's just a matter of how you deal with it.

• Life is so short for drama and petty problems; so kiss slowly, laugh insanely and forgive quickly. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

• It is better to cry than to be angry, because anger hurts others while tears flow silently thru the soul and cleanses the heart.

• A smile is a language even a baby can understand, it costs nothing, but it credits much. It happens in a flash but the memory of it may forever last. Keep smiling.

• When you hold someone, hold them like it's the last time you will ever see them and when they go, don't make reasons for them to stay… only reasons for them to return.

• The Israelites saw Goliath and said, "He is so big, we cannot win." David saw Goliath and said, "He is so big, I cannot miss!" Life is a matter of perspective. Good night!

• You know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night, shifting blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and you see that person in his/her most innocent state. You smile, kiss the face gently so as not to awake that person. You turn around and a grin forms on your face. Then, you feel an arm wrapped around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this.

• I always dream, I tend to be happy, but my dreams won't fit my eyes, that's why they fell and became tears, because you are the dream that is out of my reach.

• “Having a dream you don’t pursue is like buying an ice cream cone and watching it melt over your hand.” - Frank Papasso

• When life gets difficult, when the tasks become tiring, when you are about to give up, always remember that… the snail got to Noah's ark inch by inch to survive!

• A great life is not about routine but doing something rare. To cherish and not to compare. To forgive, not to blame, and to be loving without counting. Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them. Joke over your troubles but gather strength from them. Have fun with your difficulties but overcome them.

• I've learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you're only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned that ignoring the facts do not change the facts. I've learned that the easiest way to grow as a person is to surround yourself with people smarter than you are. I've learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. And I've learned that life is tough, but you can be tougher!

• Don't shield yourself from pain, never fear pain either. Face whatever it is that comes your way. Don't be afraid to stumble and fall, to cry and get hurt. Dread not those helpless moments, when you can't even fight your tears back, and all you can do is stare at something and let time pass. You can only understand happiness after you've felt pain. Life is not fair, it never was, and it won't ever be. All we can do is to live it to the fullest.

• The saddest quote by the funniest man ever born on this planet: "I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying." - Charlie Chaplin.

• Being with someone doesn't guarantee happiness. It doesn't matter how long you've been alone, how long you've hoped, or how long you've waited. There's no such thing as a perfect love story. Heartaches will always be a part of loving. But remember though not perfect, if that love is meant for you, it will stick with you till the end. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how long. Far from perfect but real.

• The only feeling of loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself. - Goodwill Hunting

• If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean that they are meant for each other now - Dawson's Creek

• When you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to begin right away. - When Harry Met Sally

• if you love someone, you say it right then out loud or the moment just passes you by. - My Bestfriend's Wedding

• Zodiac signs about kissing. Aries - quick and passionate. Taurus - deliberate, heartfelt. Gemini - interrupted by giggles, smiles. Cancer - warm and tender. Leo - wild, biting. Virgo - subtle and tidy. Libra - a relief from stress. Scorpio - skip the kiss and wanted sex. Sagittarius - surprising, wanted more. Capricorn - worrying about breath. Aquarius - wet and messy, eyes open. Pisces - starry-eyed, long kiss.

• A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)

• Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.

• Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical. - Southpark.

• I'm sorry for blaming you. For everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there. It's hard to say goodbye when it comes to this. There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance to look into your eyes. Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I couldn't do. - Hurt - Christina Aguilera

• We are like pencils, the best part in us is inside, we make marks as we touch other's lives. when we make mistakes, we can erase and we become better as we are sharpened.

• All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard, and look twice as good as the bitch standing next to you. - Paris Hilton.

• It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with the problems longer. - Albert Einstein.

• Hearts are easily torn but can also be sewn together by someone who cares. Though the scars won't fade, the stitches will always be there to remind you that someone loves you enough to keep you whole again.

• It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

• It could take a thousand workers to build a castle, a million soldiers to protect its country, but it only takes one man to build a happy home.

• In the cruel world of love, I've learned that promises aren't contracts, kisses aren't assurance, sweet words aren't guarantees, big hugs aren't bonds and that nothing is permanent in this life. One day, she's mine, the next day, she's gone. Last night she was sweet, the next morning, she's insensitive. Yesterday, I cried, tonight, I despair, but tomorrow, I'll be strong. I've tried so hard, it still seems not enough. Life is so unfair!

• Do you know why I love solitude so much? It's because in this state, I break free from a dangerous society where people have nothing to do but break my heart.

• In life, there are five balls to juggle: family, friends, health, work and love. Only work is made of rubber, the rest are made of glass, don't drop any!

• We choose how we see people. When we want to like someone, we can be so tolerant. When we want to be irritated by people, we focus on their faults. It's not other people's behavior that determines how we feel about them, it's our attitude!

• What is the meaning of life? "Taking pain," said the nail. "Keeping cool," said the ice. "Driving hard," said the hammer. "Being up-to-date," said the calendar. "Being sharp," said the knife. "Making light around you," said the fire. "Sticking to it," said the glue. "Being bright," said the lamp. "Being on time," said the clock. "Saving a drop," said the faucet. And best of all, "learning from it," said the mistake.

• Being happy doesn't mean everything's ok. It only means you've decided to see things beyond life's imperfections! Whatever happens, stay happy and enjoy what life brings!

• Mistakes make you think. They make you realize what you had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted. They make you realize that sometimes, there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.

• Sometimes, the best way to find what you're looking for is to stop looking for it. The answers are usually within us and the harder we try to look ahead, the further we get from what's right in front of us.

• I think, part of the reason why people hold on to something so tight for so long is because they fear that something so great won't happen twice.

• Life can be so unfair. Cooking a meal takes one hour, but eating it takes 5 mins. Constructing a building takes 6 months, but blowing it up takes 30 secs. Earning P10,000 takes 30 days, but paying the cashier for a cellphone takes 2 seconds. However, it’s amazing that a second smack on the cheek can make your day, a 5-second glimpse of your crush can make your week and a 10-second hug can take your 1 year pain away!

• Falling down doesn’t make you a failure but staying down does. Always remember that no one is perfect and when you fall harder, you bounce back higher.

• To be happy, don’t do whatever you like – like whatever you do. Happiness comes not from having much to live ON, but having much to live FOR.

• When life is a mess, when my heart has been crushed, when I’m wearing a frown, when I breakdown and cry, when I’m blue, can I comfort myself by saying, I have you?

• Nobody can ever make you feel average without your permission. Ingratitude and criticism are going to come; they are part of the price you pay for leaping past mediocrity. When you make your mark in life, you'll always attract erasers. Never surrender your dream to noisy negatives! - The Enemy Called Average

• A heartbreak is always a blessing. It might be a very worst nightmare that leaves you crying in the middle of the night. But it is just his way of letting you realized he saved you from the wrong one.

• Ang mga pasa at bukol na ito ay ebidensya ng kanyang marubdob na pag-ibig. Kapag hindi nya na ako sinasaktan, ibig sabihin, hindi na nya ako mahal, at yun ang aking ikamamatay. - Nova Villa (Super Inday and the Golden Bibe) Pamatay! Nyahaha! =)

• Kung ang kare-kare may puso, tao pa kaya… - Mama Sita. =)

• Hindi mo dapat iyakan ang nakaraan. Isipin mo, bakit sa harap nakalagay ang mata? Iyon ay para lagi mong makita ang hinaharap… - Nobita's teacher, Doraemon.

• It's never too late to be what might have been. - George Elliot.

• it is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. - Andre Gide.

• If you're not curious, it's a sign that you are stupid. - Dr. Frank Crane

• Never explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway. - Elbert Hubbard

• A true friend stabs you in the front. - Oscar Wilde

• A day without laughter is a wasted day. - Charlie Chaplin.

• Here's something to ponder on: Never let someone be your priority, while allowing yourself to be just their option.

• Sometimes, you just can't take things back to the way they used to be, no matter how you try, regardless of how sorry you are. Because in life, there are no rewinds, only plays, so, play it right.

• Success in life can never be an accident, it's the result of right decisions at the right time. Champions are not people who never fail but people who never quit.

• To have a happy life, you gotta dance like no one's watching, dream like you'll live forever, live like you're gonna die tomorrow and love like it's never gonna hurt.

• Don't focus on what you lost but what remains. Don't focus on the pain but how the pain shaped you. Don't focus on the failure but on the great lessons the failure taught you.

• Happiness cannot be found at the end of the road. It is experienced along the way. Take not for granted each moment of your life and find reasons to be happy each day.

• When mean people hurt you, think of them as sandpapers. They may rub and scratch you painfully, but eventually, you will end up smooth and polished while they end up worthless.

• Never worry about how you tell someone you love them. Just go ahead and say it. The word "I love you" could never come out wrong. The only wrong way to say it would be not saying it at all.

• Nobody knows when would death comes to us, I maybe gone anytime. Death comes suddenly, so before I run out of time and before I would catch my last breath, i want you to know that…

• Sometimes, love makes a big scar in your heart, but don't let it stain your life, it only means, the bigger the scar you had, the better you've loved.

• A woman was in love with an ugly guy. Her friend asked her, "Why him?" Then, the woman replied immediately, "if only you can borrow my eyes, then you'll see how handsome he is."

• The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along.

• Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, it even fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

• True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart.

• Love can never be wrong, sometimes, you blame the situation or even the person. But no matter who you blame, if it really wasn't the will of God, it just wouldn't be.

• A little bird was flying in winter. The bird froze and fell into the ground. A cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird. Bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing, dig him out and ate him! Lessons to be learned from the story: 1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy; 2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and 3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! =)

• What makes coffee sweet? Sugar? Wrong. It is the stirring that you do after you add sugar. As in life, it is what you do with what you have that makes your life worth living.

• Every soul has a partner, yun yung tinatawag na soulmate. Do you want to know who he is? Sya yung taong pilit papasok sa buhay mo sa ayaw mo't sa gusto!

• Life is a game. Sometimes,we miss and get hurt. But life doesn't end when our heartache begins. It only ends when we give up and stop believing. Seize the day!

• Every experience brings out something good. Good times could be good memories. Bad times could be good lessons. You never lose, you only gain from life. It is just a matter of perspective.

• A brilliant mind is useless without a fighting heart because in life’s challenges, you make an impression with what you say but you make a name with what you do.

• If you keep doing what you have always done, you will always get what you always got. So, when you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

• Always be happy, always wear a smile; not because life is full of reasons to smile, but because your smile itself is a reason for many others to smile.

• “I trust you” is a better compliment than “I love you” because you may not always trust the one you love, but believe me, you can always love the person you trust for the rest of your life.

• Trials are like fire, it can destroy or strengthen you depending on your character and outlook in life. Remember, the fire that melts butter is the same fire that hardens steel.

• When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive, never try to give up on life. Why? Oh come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm mareach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka noh?

• Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful things in the world are unseen.

• There are things that we never want to let go, of people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life.

• Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.

• The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall.

• Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

• It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.

• The finest part of a good person's life is the little unknown acts of kindness and love. We obtain happiness not because we do great things but because we do small things with great love.

• Never regret the choices you make, just believe in yourself and have faith. Life isn't perfect, it's a blend of joy and sorrow, but whatever life leads you, it's because of a purpose.

• In life, the greatest handicap is fear, the hardest thing to do is moving on, the most useless asset is pride, the scariest thing to do is change and the greatest mistake is giving up.

• Have you noticed that the body when split vertically has parts of every organ on both sides except for the heart? This is because the organs were made to be shared, while the heart was made to be given as a whole.

• You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary. - Oprah Winfrey

• Life is nothing until it is lived. But it is yours to make sense of, and the value of it is nothing other than the sense you choose. - Jean Paul Satre

• Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

• One of the reasons why people hold on to memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don't change, when everything else does.

• It's not one great deed that defines who you are. It's the little good things you do to others day by day that count. Carry on! People may not notice but God does.

• Don’t ever let go of a dream until you are ready to wake up and make it happen. Trials in life are not to make us fail but to see how far we can conquer.

• Life is only traveled once. Today's moment becomes tomorrow's memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the gift of life is life itself. God bless.

• Believe while others doubt. Work while others wish. Save while others waste. Persevere while others quit. Pray and stay while others stray! Dare to be different!

• People change no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older, you mature and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at 20 could be the person you hate when you are 35. Find someone who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack, a person whom you can fill in when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person? He/She doesn't exist. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other.

• Why do others lie to their mate? Sabi, to avoid confrontations and pain daw. Eh mga engot pala sila eh, hindi ba nila alam na the truth hurts for a while but a lie hurts forever!

• What is the secret of success? "Right Decisions" How do you make right decisions? "Experience" How do you get experience? "Wrong Decisions" =)

• Just read and think. A doll was given to a little girl and she liked it a lot. As time passed by, the doll became dirty and old. The girl's birthday came and she received a new doll to play with. So she threw the old doll and played with the new one. After a few weeks, the new doll started to break. She suddenly realized that the old doll was better. Now, she can never find the old doll. And she had no doll to play with anymore. Who do you think suffered much pain? Yung naglaro o yung pinaglaruan? =)

• A faithful husband was drunk, he didn't know what was happening around him. Upon going home, he directly entered the room and slept. When morning came, he was amazed. Everything is in order, tablet of aspirin and a glass of water with a note, "Good morning hon, I'll just buy groceries for our dinner! Have your breakfast! Luv u!" He was wondering why was that so, eventhough he was drunk last night. He asked his son, "What happened last night? Why is this so? Your mom should be angry." Son replied, "Mom tried to uncloth you, but you said, 'Stop! I'm married.'"

• Try holding a handful of sand too tightly and you end up holding almost none. The same is true in life. You can't have everything.

• In life, if you expect everything, anything may seem nothing. If you expect nothing, anything seems everything. Enjoy what you have. You'll be happy.

• When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass and when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware.

TXT INSPIRATIONAL

• Beautiful one liner… A lot of kneeling will keep us in good standing.

• If you want to know how much God loves you, try to catch every single raindrop. The ones you catch is how much you love God and the ones you miss is how much God loves you.

• God never says, “do this!” “do that!” He never bullies us. Instead, He reaches out for your hand & lovingly says, “My child, I’m here. We will do this together.”

• Carrying a lantern into a forest night doesn’t guarantee you’ll see all the trees, it only means that you can see a few steps ahead of you, far enough to keep your footing sure. Likewise, as the Lord lights your path, He may not shine all the answers to your shadowy questions in your mind, but He will give you all the light you need to scale life’s obstacles with faith and confidence.

• Love? Shakespeare explained it thru Romeo and Juliet. Picaso thru his paintings. Lovers thru flowers. But no one beats my bestfriend's style, he explained it to me thru the cross.

• A man was asked, "How can you believe in God when the world has many problems?" The man replied, "With all these problems, how can you possibly make it without God?"

• God understands that we are not strong all the time. Sometimes, all we can do is rest on his arms as he takes us thru the journey of life. With Him, we are safe.

• If you lose something, you lose it for a reason. That reason might be hard to understand, but whatever it is, you just have to believe that God takes away when He has something better to give.

• Be a person full of love and life, stay simple yet happy. When things go wrong, don't go blue, just say, "I will get thru." And always remember, God loves you. Take care!

• There are many things about tomorrow I don't understand, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know He holds our hands. To Him I pray that He’d hold yours tighter and always let your days be brighter.

• Prayers are very powerful. The devil smiles when we are weak, he laughs when we are too busy, he giggles when we are afraid but he trembles when we pray. So, pray always!

• Angels fly not because of their wings, but because they have no burdens in their heart. Lift everything to God and you will walk around like an angel! Good morning!

• As we unburden ourselves to God, He lifts the weight for us. For every ounce of trust we place in Him, He pays us a pound of His blessings. God loves us!

• When I'm sad, I talk to God, then I'm ok. When I'm depress, I talk to God again, then I'm ok. When I'm in pain, I talk to God even more, then He'll comfort me. Pero ang tao, kapag si God ang tumawag, madalas, deadma. "Lord, I'm so sorry for causing you too much pain." Send this as much as you can, the more you send shows how much you are sorry. Kaya mo bang deadmahin ito??

• Often, we get impatient and take things into our own hands, but God said, "Be quiet, trust me, I know your needs better than you do. Just wait and give me a chance to work."

• May Jesus at this very hour bring you something special; a thought that makes you smile, a smile that warms your heart, and a heart that holds much happiness.

• Everything that God allows to come our way was with a purpose. He uses even the greatest error and deepest hurt to mold us into a person of worth and value.

• When you make choices, follow God, not your own way. For if your own way fails, you regret but with God, you can smile and say, "He knows best."

• Relationships are worth restoring. "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody" Romans 12:18.

• A prayer can go where I can't go. Thru prayer, I can be with whom I care without being there. I may not see you, but I'm sure you're ok! Coz that's what I prayed.

• Seek the highest wisdom not by arguments of words but by the perfection of your life, not by speech but by faith that comes from simplicity of heart. God bless.

• For every dream in our heart, God gives us inspiration. For every hope we seek, God gives us unexpected miracles. For every faith we believe, God blesses us more!

• There is no oil without squeezing the olives, no wine without pressing the grapes, no fragrance without crushing the flower. So when things press you down, God is taking out the best in you. God bless.

• In prosperity, God tests our gratitude; in poverty, our contentment; in darkness, our faith; at all times, our obedience! God bless!

• Trials are not reason to give up, but a challenge to improve our lives. It is not an excuse to back-out, but an inspiration to move on and claim God’s promise.

• Believe in God’s constant love for you and hold on to the truth that the best years of your life are still ahead of you and not behind you. Good day!

• A beautiful world can only be seen thru the eyes of a happy heart. May your heart never get tired to see and enjoy the beauty that God is showing you.

• The Lord does not want us to doubt, to fear or to grieve. He wants us to believe, to hope, to love and to see life the way He made it. A blessed day!

• Aren't you glad that God's hotline doesn't have a recording that says "the number you dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try your call later."? You can call on Him anytime.

• Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me to remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and that Your plans for my life are always better than my dreams. Amen.

• When your life goes wrong, don't waste your time looking back at what you've lost for the road of life was not meant to be traveled backwards, just move on and say, "I'm with God, I will get through."

• Rowing hard doesn't help if the boat is heading the wrong direction. Entrust your life to God and let Him steer it according to His plan and purpose.

• Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life is always better than my dreams.

• Be patient when God does not give you what you want. He knows the best time for you to have it. Just remember that you can have it all. You just can't have it all at once. 

TXT FRIEND

• Real friends never leave each other, never part. They just sometimes sit silently, deep within each other’s heart, saying, “I’m just here if you need me.”

• People say that when you bite your tongue accidentally, someone you know misses you a lot. Hope you bit your tongue right now because I do miss you, yung tipong dumudugo na dahil sobrang miss kita!

• We never know how this closeness has started. We will never know how it would end. But whatever happens, when our closeness is gone, I will never forget how you made me smile once in a while.

• Friendship is impossible to keep within yourself, it will always extend as far as it can reach to touch your hearts. Exactly like the way you touched mine. Thank you so much.

• You were someone I don’t know before, you were someone I don’t expect I will get along with. But it turned out you have given me one of the best friendship ever. Thank you!

• I had been believing that there is a paradise beyond the skies. But now I realized that heaven is just right here on earth, because what would an angel like you be doing here if heaven is somewhere else?

• A true friend understands when you say, I forgot, waits forever when you say, just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone, opens the door even before you knock and says can I come in?

• Sooner, you'll no longer feel my presence, you'll never even miss my absence. I just hope that someday, when our roads meet again, you will still be the person I used to call friend.

• Maybe, I don't really know you that well. I don't know how you exactly act, but those things will not keep me away from you. Coz those are my reasons why I'm here… to know you much better.

• I'm praying that our friendship will never come to an end. I'm wishing that it will last until you can see an apple in an orange tree on the 30th day of February. Nangiti ka noh?

• An empty stomach needs food, an empty brain needs knowledge, an empty house needs a family, and an empty heart needs love. But then, an empty life needs a friend, thanks for filling in.

• Friends are like mornings, you can't have them the whole day, but you can be sure they will be there when you wakeup tomorrow, next week, next year, forever.

• Promise me we are true friends. You are the roof, I am the ground. You are the floor, I am the tiles. You are the sun, I am the rays. I am the tree, you are the monkey. Gusto mo ng saging?

• True bonding is not measured by the time spent together or the favors done for each other but by the comfort you find when you realized that you care for each other.

• God gave us 86,400 valuable seconds each day. May I use a few seconds to say thanks for giving me the gift of knowing someone like you.

• My biggest reward is to see you smile, know you are happy, and feel you are loved. I know life is sometimes cruel, but that's why I'm here, to show you that life can be good when somebody cares.

• The easiest part was getting to know you. The hardest part was being away from you. The best part is when we're together.

• Shores never meet yet share the same sand, the moon and the sun couldn't be one yet cross the same sky. Just like friends who don't meet often but never stop being friends.

• Galit ka ba? Dahil ako na naman ang nagtext? Inis ka ba? Dahil name ko na naman ang nakita mo? Badtrip ka ba? Dahil message ko na naman binabasa mo? Sorry ha! Miss lang kita.

• I'm proud of myself because I was given a chance to meet someone like you. Whatever happens, I'll always treasure you because I know, I'll never have another friend like you.

• I know your life can go on without me, that you can be happy without me, that you can survive without me. But even if you turn me away, I will still stay with you and will always be your friend.

• The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then, walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

• Kapag nagtetext ako sa 'yo, ang gusto ko, napapangiti kita kahit sa simpleng pangungumusta, sa mga quotes na ipinapasa ko, gusto ko gumagaan yung loob mo, at nasasabi mo na… naalala na naman ako ni [name] =)

• There is no such thing as coincidence! People met for a special reason. But whatever it is, I'm so glad I have you in my life! Clueless? Oh come on! Let's just say that we are meant to be friends.

• I don't regret the things I have done and the thing I didn't do, for somewhere along the way, I must have done something right because I ended up with a friend like you.

• May mga kaibigan na akala mo totoo, yun pala, sila pa ang loloko sa 'yo! Buti na lang, meron akong kaibigan na tulad mo! Na kahit mukhang loko-loko, astig naman at totoo!

• What if you need a friend and there are hundred steps between us? You can take the first step to get near me and I will take all 99 steps to be there for you.

• Some friends forget, some move away, some keep silent. Some just change. But I'm not one of them, I'm just here, minsan, busy nga lang. Pero never kitang nakalimutan! =)

• You brighten my day, hindi ka naman araw. You light up my life, hindi ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, hindi ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, hindi ka naman sabaw. FRIEND kita, yan malinaw!

• I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me… you cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump off the window, I ain't jump. Instead, I'll catch you with my arms and hug you tight!

• Can I keep you and never let you go? Can I hold your hand and hug you tight? Can I tell the world how lucky I am to have you in my life? Or simply, can you be my friend for the rest of my life?

• Whenever you want to know how rich you are, don't count your money. Just drop tears from your eyes and look around the number of hands that reach out to wipe your tears.

• I may not be there when you need me, but a part of me laughs when you're happy and cries when you're sad, the other part stays strong to pray for you. That's the best thing a far friend can do.

• Friendship is like a song that after we hear it, we still hum the melody as we live through life. You're my song that never runs out of tune in my heart.

• Life is unpredictable. You may not live long and miss out telling your friends that they're appreciated. So I'm telling you now that life won't be the same without you as one of my friends.

• At times you may not find me, but in my heart, you will always be found. If time never stands still, I will never leave your side, it may be hard for me, but I will still hang in here for you.

• Good friends are those who care without hesitation, who remembers without limitation, and who remains the same even text lang ang communication.

• When you feel tired and alone, just tell me. Eventhough my hands can't hold you, my feet may not be able to run to you, my voice may not reach you, but my knees are always here to pray for you.

• Galileo: great mind. Einstein: genius mind. Newton: extra-ordinary mind. Bill Gates: brilliant mind. You and me: never mind! As long as we are friends, I don't mind!

• Each of us has a star that shines with the rest, sometimes we twinkle alone, but when you feel you're about to lose your own spark, I'm here to share my glow.

• Walk with me when you feel your heart needs company. Take my hand when you feel all alone. Turn to me when you need someone to lean on coz I'm a friend you can always depend on.

• Friends are the best interpreters, coz even in silence, even when nothing is said and even if they don't know what has happened, they don't ask you questions. They just understand!

• If I'm an ant, pupunta ako sa arms mo, kakagatin kita as hard as I could. Syempre, papatayin mo ako! Then, as I draw my last breath, I'll whisper to your ears, "Sorry ha, nagpaparamdam lang."

• The secret of being young and gorgeous? Sleep the right amount of rest. Go with the right crowd. Exercise. Eat the right food and be my friend!

• Forget mo na lang na nagkakilala tayo ha! Tutal, wala ka namang paki, di ba? Mas mabuti pang magkalimutan na lang tayo. Sawa na rin ako. Pero bago tayo magkalimutan, pwede bang hintayin muna nating maubos ang tubig sa dagat?

• I believe that G*d created me to be your friend, He picked me out from all the rest coz He knows I'm the best! Ehem. Don't argue with G*d, bad yun!

• Alam mo friend, mahal na mahal kita. To the point na kapag nakita kong dinapuan ka ng lamok sa mukha, tatagain ko yung lamok! I swear! Malakas ka sa akin eh!

• A real friend not only goes out with you anywhere you go but also remembers you no matter how busy they are, who takes their time to say, "Hi Friend"

• Alone? I'll be your shadow. Afraid? Stay behind me. Wanna cry? Here's my shoulder. Need a hug? I'll embrace you tightly and say, "Whatever happens, you have me."

• A true friend is like the shade of a great tree in the noonday heat. Para kang puno ng kampupot.

• Once a book of friendship was opened, it should never be closed again. A living book meant to be read and enjoyed forever. I hope our book of friendship never be closed!

• Imagine life without me. (long spaces) See?! Hahanapin mo ako. Don't worry, I'll never leave you. I'm always here for you.

• I ain't someone whom you can rely on all the time. I can't always turn your tears into smiles, but even if I can't be a great person at all, still, I'm trying to be the simplest person you can count on.

• I believe my life is like a jeepney and I am the driver. Some people are coming in and out of my life. Some of them I remember, some of them I don't. But you? You will always be my special passenger.

• If love gets broken, you can look for a new one. If a glass gets broken, you can always buy a new one. But if friendship gets broken, you can never have the same one.

• We may go seperate ways, live different lives. We might have different interests, do different things, believe in different aspects. But for as long as we believe we're friends, we'll forever be.

• Behind my smiles are my kept tears. Behind my jokes are my hidden problems. Hindi man ako laging tunay na masaya, sana, andyan ka lang kapag hindi ko na kaya.

• Once in your life, you'll find a friend who's true to you (ako yun!) Kaya never take me for granted (dapat lang!) Never let me go (it's up to you!) Because if you lose me, you can never find me again! (ikaw din!)

• Friendship is a network that needs no recharge! No roaming! No validity limit! No activation! No signal problems! Just don’t switch off our heart.

• Today is international day for people with special needs. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, or occasionally bang your head on a wall. You hang in there, sunshine, you're special! =)

• Bakit ang kaibigan, kapag may problema ka, tutulungan ka? Kapag malungkot ka, nandyan sya? Kapag umiyak ka, papatawanin ka? Kapag may lakad, isasama ka? Pero kapag sinabi mong maganda ka, aangal. Ang labo, no?

• Minsan, pakiramdam ko, wala na akong ginawang tama. Lahat may mali. Lahat may puna. Pero kapag naiisip kita, masaya na ako dahil sa dinami-dami ng katangahang nagawa ko, at least, sa pagpili ng kaibigan ko, tumama ako!

• When life gets stormy, remember to anchor deep. Pray and hold on, don't be surprised if someone comes across the water to give you a hand. Ako yun! Nasa yacht. You know, sosyal kasi… hehehe.

• Life is like a box of Chocnuts, you'll never know if it's durog or not! Toink!

• Friend always understand each other, that's why wem dgrfhb djhgl adho lasofd. Ano? Hindi mo maintindihan? Ako din eh! Friends nga tayo!

• Life is a matter of choice. You can be a doctor who saves lives, a lawyer who defends lives, a soldier who protects lives, or just be yourself, a monster who touched my life. =)

• Good morning, good morning, dahil sa Pampers, ang sleep mo, ang sleep mo, mahimbing. Iwas leak, iwas leak up to 12 hours, masarap, masarap ang gising! Ganado, ganado na matuto. Bulaga, bulaga, yehey! Yehey! Hahahaha! Masarap, masarap ang gising! Yeah! Forward this to 10 friends and see a miracle in 10 days. May himala! Mewon!

• All my life, I've been looking for something to satisfy and make me happy. You know it's right when they say that happiness can be found in the simplest things, and I found it in 7 letters. "FRIENDS"

• I can't be that kind of person others want me to be. I know I can't please everybody for just being me, but I'm glad that there's someone like you who stays beside me, ready to accept whoever the hell I may be! =)

• They say the world will end soon. They may be right but they could also be wrong. But whatever fate the world may have, I won't allow it to end without telling you, "I'm glad you came along."

• A true friend is like the best book, sometimes, the cover may not be so elegant but the contents are like bars of gold that you can treasure for a lifetime. Take care!

• We bridge distance with text messages. Still we know it fails to fill the space but I hope ours isn't just an exchange of text messages. It's keeping friendship alive.

• Friendship is like the relation between the hand and eyes. When the hand gets hurt, the eye cries and when the eye cries, the hand wipes its tears.

• I used to think that when God gave us friends, He was very fair. Until the day you became my friend - that's when I knew I was getting more than my share.

• A simple text means I care enough to flex a few muscles, search your name, wait for "Message Sent" then think of you and smile as I say, "Sarap ng may kaibigan!"

• Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I promise, I'll miss you.

• Ya Ye Yi Yo Yu — Ya: Sosyal na yes. Ye: Lasing na yes. Yi: Bisayang yes. Yo: Hip-hop na yes. Yu: One of the best people I've ever known. God bless!

• I just wanna let you know that you are my only special friend. The rest are normal! Hahaha!

• Every nice friend is a glimpse of God. It is one of life's best blessings, a priceless gift that can never be bought, sold or forgotten. Good morning!

• Friendship is an investment! It gives you security, happiness, trust, love and care. Thanks for depositing this to me without even asking for any interest! Please, don't withdraw!

• Love and Friend are walking in a village. Love falls into a well. Why? Because Love is blind. Friend also jumps inside. Why? Because Friend will do anything for Love.

• Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friend like you - a precious gift from God.

• Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.

• In life, you'll find someone who will puff smoke and drink with you till sun is up. But what I promise you is that I'll be the one who will stay with you when all you see is an empty beer bottle and an empty cigarette case.

• I'm so masaya that I have a friend like you because you tanggap me as me. I always pasalamat to the lord that I met you and I hope you will not bago your ugali because I like you as ikaw! devah?

• If one day, you decide to give up on me, I'll understand. And if I remember you, I would be grateful for the fact that minsan, ikaw yung isa sa mga taong sumalo sa akin at nagpaalala na hindi ako nag-iisa!

• It's hard to explain what I feel. What I know is you are my friend. Maybe, I'm never the perfect one, but I will still be your friend no matter what. Just hold on, maybe, I will never be your bestfriend, but your friend forever.

• If you need a shoulder to cry on, mine is for free. No cover charge, no service charge, no government taxes. Just pure love for a friend. Just inform me, anytime, 24 hours open!

• Madalas, kapag ang tao, nagdadasal, humihiling, gusto ko nito, gusto ko nyan, sana, may ganito, sana may ganyan. Hindi ko sila masisisi, hindi ka pa kasi nila nakikilala. Di sana, ang dasal na lang nila, "Thank you."

• Friendship? Para daw grade sa Math. Mahirap abutin, pinaghihirapan. Minsan pasado, kadalasan, bagsak. Ako? Hindi ako magaling sa Math! Pero para sa iyo, handa akong mangopya sa katabi ko.

• If true friend can be bought, I'm going to sell you in an ukay ukay for only a peso or centavo with 50% discount! Why? So that anyone can avail a friend as true as you. Mukhang sosyal, pero di mahal!

• God is so wise because he never created friends with price tags, because if He did, I cannot afford a precious one like you. Pero kung sakali man, syempre, pag-iipunan kita. =)

• May the arm of your angel hold you tight each day. May she light and guide you all the way. But if ever your angel is busy today, just tell me, ako ang magdu-duty.

• Friendship isn't ranked by whom we have known the longest, who came first or who cares the best. It's about who came and never left.

TXT GUD AM

• Love is patient and kind. It is not conceited and selfish. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Gud am!

• Good morning, Wishing you God's perfect touch today, and bless your heart with love and peace. Have a nice day! God loves you.

• As this day begins, I pray that God's power be your courage, His promises be your comfort and His presence be your light and your strength. Good morning!

• Mornings are reminders that God loves us. We are not just given another day to enjoy but also given another chance to correct the wrongs of yesterday. Good morning.

• The loveliest day comes when you wake up one morning and discover the romantic truth that God still colors your world despite all the trials you encounter. Good morning!

• Sunrise makes a morning beautiful but the word of God strengthens and makes our life more meaningful. Good morning!

• Morning smile makes the day better. That’s the best thing we can do to make life happy. Good morning.

• Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. Good morning!

• KISS is purely organic and naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients and is 100% wholesome…Here's one for you…MMWAAAH! Have a nice day!

• There is no such thing as a bad day, only bad moments that people choose to nurse all day. Think happy moments and create a happy day and a happy you! Smile always.

• Every morning, please leave your worries outside your gate's doorstep, because that is where they pick-up the garbage. May all your days be worry-free. God bless!

• If you feel love in your heart, you are blessed by God, and if you share with others the love you have in your heart, you become a blessing from God. Good morning!

• Hope you wake up today with sunlight in your heart, success in your path, answers to your prayers and smile that will always be there in your eyes. Good morning!

• God created mornings so that we can say how great the previous day has been, and how wonderful the next 24 hours would be. Let God rule you today! Good morning!

• When God opened the window, He saw me and asked, "What is your wish for today?" I said, "Lord, just take care of the person who's reading this message right now." Good morning!

• God set a place for you in his heart and not in the world because the world is temporary but in God's heart, you are favored and blessed forever. Good morning! Take care!

• Ang araw gumigising kasabay mo; ang ulap kumakaway sa mga ngiti mo; kahit anong oras mag-beep ang cell ko, ngingiti ako pag galing sa 'yo.

• Wake up! Exercise your faith. Do sit-up with prayer. Do push-up to release stress. Go! Jog to the Lord and send the good news! Good morning!

• Minsan, mali tayo sa napili nating mahalin. Nasaktan sa maling pagmamahal, umiyak sa maling dahilan. At kung tatanungin mo ako? Wala akong alam dyan, kasi, kakagising ko lang. Good morning!

• Caring is a wonderful gift that no one can buy. It is made up of love that roots in our hearts to make fruits of memory not just for a while but for a lifetime. Good morning!

• The important element of closeness is communication, that's the reason why my fingers are still pressing the keys on my phone, because I don't want to cut the line that connects us. Good day!

• Good morning! May Christ shine in everything you do. With a prayer that you'll be safe not only today but always. God bless.

• Forget the things that made you sad and remember those that made you glad. Forget the troubles that passed away and remember the blessings that come each day. Good morning!

• I love mornings! It makes me think of the value of life, it asks me to live not on yesterday's sorrows nor tomorrow's dreams, but today's blessings! Good morning! Magandang umaga!

• You can't claim to be good if you've never been tempted to be bad. You can't claim to be faithful if you've never had the opportunity to be unfaithful. Integrity is built by defeating temptation to be dishonest, humility grows when we refuse to be prideful and endurance develops everytime you reject the temptation to give up. Good morning!

• Facing life's challenges is never easy. We are struggling in many ways. God may not give all the easy ways but He gives all the love we need to carry on. Good morning!

• A smile is a curve that sets everything straight and wipes the wrinkles away. Hope you share a lot and receive a lot of smiles today! Here’s one from me… =)

• Today, choose to be gentle rather than forceful. If you raise your voice, may it be only in praise. If you clench your fist, may it be only in the fervor of prayer. If you make a demand, may it be only of yourself. A fruitful day be yours!

• Let me share this beautiful text: I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?" God answered: "Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear." Then he added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live." The present is inevitable! Remember the power of God! God bless! Good morning!

• How generous of God, granting us another day… to prosper, to win a heart, to right a wrong, to make things better and to live life with joy! Have a good day ahead! God bless!

• Mornings are just like paintings. You need an inspiration to get you going, a smile to brighten it up and a message from someone who cares to color your day. Good morning!

• So many people fail because they don't get started. They don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin. Remember that you must act now because now is all you have. Tomorrow is reserved for the labor of the lazy. You are not lazy. Success will not wait, if you delay success, it will be wed to another and lost to you forever. This is the time! This is the place! You are the person! Act on this day! Good morning!

• It's not how well you jump over the obstacles nor how fast you get to the top but how often you stop to appreciate the simple things in life which makes life worthwhile. Good am!

• If two hearts are meant to be friends, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, God will bring them together to share friendship forever! Nice morning!

• God gives us a loving spirit so we can be better persons; not just gifted with a mind that understands but with a heart that truly cares. Good morning!

• I'm a person easily overwhelmed by the wonders this world can give. But I would leave all these just to laugh my heart out over cups of coffee on lazy days like this with someone like you! Good morning!

• Habang binabasa mo ito, alam kong gising ka na! Kasi, paano mo ito mababasa kung tulog ka pa? Gandang umaga! Ingat!

• When I say "Good morning!", it means isip kita. When I say "Ingat ka", it means I pray for your safety. And when I say "Ang cute mo!" it means antok pa ako. Good morning!

• There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Good morning!

• Morning thought: Contentment is not always the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how blessed you are for what you already have. Good morning and God bless!

• The word "Good morning!" doesn't really mean "Gising na!" But it's a fact one of the silly way of saying I've been thinking of you everytime I wake up. Good morning!

• No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and disciplined. But no life is ever happy until it is lived for the glory of God. Keep the faith. Good morning!

• We really don't need so many friends. What will you do with so many if only few are true? For me, I can be contented with only 3 or 2, basta dapat paglingon ko, one of them is you!

• Live your life to the fullest as if it's your last! Oopss, luma na yan! Ito ang bago. Mas malupit pa! Live today as if you will stand before God tomorrow! Oh di ba? Good morning!

• At muling nagbabalik ang inyong kaibigan na nambubulabog tuwing may load. Kumusta na kayo mga kapuso ko? Ito nga pala ang texter na kahit walang pera, mukha namang artista. Good morning!

• When we sigh about our problems, they grow double but when we laugh about them and lift them up to God, they become bubbles. Have a bright and bubbly day!

• You can never change the past nor control the future. But you can change the mood of the day by touching someone's private organ. The heart. Now you're smiling! Good morning!

• Let instruction and knowledge mean more to you than silver or finest gold. Wisdom is worth more than precious jewels or anything else you desire. Good day!

• Success is: To laugh often and much. To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty. To find the best in others. To live the world a little better. To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. Good day!

• Hope you spend the day being what you like to be, seeing what you love to see, doing what you plan to do and having all your prayers come true! Good morning!

• The rain may cover the sun, but we know that the sun never forgets to shine just like you. We might not see each other but you always shine in my mind. Good morning!

• Life is a dance, sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow. Don't worry about what we don't know. What's important is we learn as we go. Good morning!

• Siguro, kailangan nating madapa kasi merong mas tamang paraan ng pagtayo. Kailangan nating umiyak kasi hindi lahat kayang itago ng tawa. Kailangan nating masaktan kasi meron pa tayong dapat matutunan. Good morning!

TXT GUD NYT

• Let the silence of the night give you enough strength for tomorrow. Let the stars light up your face and let the love of God embrace you. Not just tonight but for the rest of your life. Good night!

• God created nights for us to rest our weary minds. May calmness surround your sleep and may you have a peaceful rest to gear you up for tomorrow’s best. Good night!

• You are the reason why I have sleepless nights. You're the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight. It's you that I'm thinking of when I lay down at night. And you're the reason I can't sleep without saying goodnight.

• Maybe today, you got hurt, cried, troubled, angry or just plain bored. Whatever it was, remember that tomorrow is another day and today will surely pass. Good night!

• The human mind is very complex, it plays with the emotion resulting to confusion, and sometimes, madness. The former I can take, but the latter, I am not sure. Nevermind. Good night!

• Baka gusto mong magparamdam? Kasi, nakakainis ka! Gabi na eh, kanina pa kita hinihintay, hindi ka pa nagpaparamdam. Anong klaseng aswang ka?! Hindi ka marunong manakot! Good night!

• Appreciate life itself even though it's not a bed of roses. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you wish but the appreciation of what you have. Good evening!

• Bakit ang tao, minsan nalilito? Minsan naliligaw? Saan ba sya dapat pumunta? Sa taong mahal nya, o sa taong mahal sya? Ikaw? Saan ka pupunta? Ako, sa kwarto. Matutulog na. Good night!

• Life is hard but He provides. Life is unpredictable but He guides. Life is unfair but He cares. Life is always a challenge but He watches over us. Good evening!

• Blind folded and walking alone, that's what most of us feel. In a lifetime full of major risks and decisions, it might seem safer to remain stagnant. But isn't it more fulfilling if despite the fear of falling from a cliff and bruised knees, steps were taken? In the end, losing and mistakes won't count. What matters most is the person we turned out to be. Not naive, but wise and beautifully molded by experiences. Good evening.

• Rain. Friends. Smiles. Work. Dreams. Sunshine. Wind. Joy. Blue sky. Tears. Words. Reasons. People. Family. Life. You. Just counting my blessings! Good evening!

• People may be unkind, just be kind. They may cheat you, just be honest. They may forget your good deeds, just do good. In the end, it's between you and God, not you and them. Good evening!

• Kung dumating ang oras na madilim ang iyong tinatahak na daan at parang wala ka nang makitang sikat ng araw sa iyong buhay, sigurado, gabi na! Good night!

• It is not who I am underneath, it is what I do that defines me. - Batman. Iniisip nila ay hindi mahalaga, mahal kita maging sino ka man. - Robin. Good night!

• The night is designed to end the worries and fears of the day, it signifies to leave it all to God and prepare for another day to come. Have a peaceful night and a blessed tomorrow!

• True wealth is not a matter of bank accounts and assets. It's in the values we live and share as well as the persons we keep in touch with and care. Good night!

• Love not because you like that person, nor because you care. Love not because you know that you can't live without that person. Instead, just love, and forget about why. Good night!

• It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt. Good night!

• One lie is enough to break a trust. One sentence is enough to break a heart. One second is enough to lose a battle. One smile is enough to fall in love. One mistake is enough to lose a job. One touch is enough to heal a wounded heart. But whatever our pain, whatever our struggle, one God is more than enough. Good evening!

• Inaantok na ako. Pagod kasi. Masyadong busy. Pero naalala kita! Greet muna kita. Good night!

• I have special sleeping arrangements for you. Bed of trust, pillow of care, bedsheet of understanding, blanket of peace and dreams of love. Good night!

• Sleep well, sleep tight, sleep silently into the night. Here is your pillow. Toink! Here is your kiss. Mwah! Here is your hug. Mmmmhhh. Here is your angel, Ahem. saying I love you! Good night!

1000+ Popular Pinoy Text Messages (Part 6 of 8)

DISCLAIMER

Ang bawat text message na ito ay walang kaugnayan sa personal kong pananaw at pag-uugali. Ang koleksyong ito ay mahigit 1,000 mga text message at maaaring ilan dito ay naglalaman ng mga pananalitang hindi angkop sa inyong panlasa.

Hindi ibig sabihing ito ay angkop naman sa akin, at hindi po ako ang kumatha ng mga ito. Ito ay pawang kathang Pinoy na natanggap mo na rin sa message inbox ng iyong mobile phone na maaaring natuwa ka ring i-forward sa iba o kaya'y na-badtrip sa kung ano mang kadahilanan.

Ang mga ito ay maaaring sumalamin sa pagiging masayahin ng mga Pinoy sa kabila ng mga problemang kinakaharap (txt jokes), o pagiging mapagmahal (txt love) at maalalahanin (txt friend, txt greetings, txt quotes, txtcetra) sa pamilya, kaibigan, o sa kaya’y sa sinisinta.

Siguro naman, kung mabasa ninyo na ito at ipabasa din sa iba, hindi na ito ikagugulat. Kung nais niyo namang gawin itong reperensya o archive na mapagkukunan ng mga text message na muling maipapasa, kayo na ang bahala, labas na ako sa usapang iyon at hindi ako promoter ng mga ito at sponsoran ang sinoman sa kanyang e-load.

Kung nais naman ninyong kumuha ng mga sipi sa anomang partikular na text message o kaya kopyahin ito ng buo mula dito sa aking blog, ay magagawa ninyo ito ng may kalayaan. Pero mas maiging ilagay na lamang ninyo ang mga orihinal na links mula dito kung saan ninyo nakuhang pahina. Ito'y bilang kortesiya sa mas malayang pakikipagpalitan ng impormasyon.

O sya, sapat na siguro yun para sa pormalidad. Banat na!

(Part 6) Karugtong …

• Boss: (galit) Ang gusto ko sa secretary ay listo at hindi absent minded. Napahiya ako sa meeting ko dahil sa kagagawan mo! Secretary: Sorry po sir, hindi ko naisara ang zipper nyo!

• Erap: Sumuko na kayo! MILF: Hindi kami susuko kapag hindi mo naispell ang ceasefire! Erap: Langya! Tuloy ang gyera!

• When you're sad, I'm lonely. When you're happy, I'm glad. Remember that whatever you feel, i feel it twice, so kung feel mo cute ka, Hello?! eh di lalo na ako!!

• Love is unfair, kapag mahal mo, ayaw sayo. Yung ayaw mo, mahal ka. Pero mas unfair sa part ng okra. Kawawa naman sya, kasi di sya kasama sa "Bahay Kubo." Gulay din naman sya, di ba?

• Essence of smell in life: Lotion for babies, cologne for the 20's, perfume for the 30's, efficacent oil for the 40's and 50's. Bawang and luya for the 60's. Beyond that, formalin na!

• Q: Ano ang pagkakatulad ni Winnie the Pooh at John the Baptist? A: iisa ang ina nila. Kita mo, iisa ang middlename nila?!

• Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin n’yo na palaging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya! Mamang driver: e, kaya ko nga binibilisan para ‘di tayo maabutan!

• Love is like a can of tuna. Know why? Kasi, ang love, kapag nagstart, gagawin mo lahat mapasaiyo lang ang taong mahal mo. Yung can of tuna, wala yun, kalimutan mo na lang yun!

• People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!

• An alcoholic son wrote a letter… Beer dad, Gin na ako iinom ulit, Whisky kelan. Tanduay mo yan, tiTequilan ko na talaga, pRhumis po! Your San, Miguel.

• Paano kung masaya ka na sa kasalukuyan, tapos, isang araw, binalikan ka ng nakaraan. Alin ang iiwan mo? Yung ngayon na unggoy ka na? O yung una na mukhang dinosaur ka pa? Hehe!

• Boy: Can I touch your software? Girl: Show me first your hardware. Boy: Can I install it in your system? Girl: Ok, if you cover it with anti-virus first. =)

• It's you who gave me sleepless nights. It's you who made me wanna hold my pillow tight. It's you who made me pray so hard. It's you who made me scream: "Nay, may mumu!"

• Eh busy? Eh busy D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. Galing noh? Want to? Want to 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Galing talaga!

• Boy: Nay! Muntik na akong maging top 1 sa klase! Nanay: Bakit mo naman nasabi yan? Boy: Iniannounce kasi kanina yung top 1 sa klase, ang itinuro ni Ma'am, yung katabi ko! Muntik na ako!

• Ikaw ang bagoong sa kare-kare kong buhay, ang sampalok sa sinigang kong buhay, at suka sa paksiw kong buhay, kung ika'y mawawala, buhay ko'y tatabang!

• Last night, I couldn't sleep. I wanted you warm against my skin. I wanted you on me. I wanted to feel you all over my body. But i couldn't find you! Where did I put my pajamas?

• A man with a knife came to me and asked, "Would you die for your friends?" Hindi nya lang alam, may gun ako kaya I shot him saying: "No, I'd kill for them." Kaya nyo yun? =)

• Naglalakad, nagtetext, nasagasaan, patay. Kumakain, nagtetext, nabilaukan, patay. Nagdadrive, nagtetext, nabangga, patay. May cellphone, walang nagtetext, nagpakamatay.

• Si miss, first time nagpa-physical check-up. DOC: O iha, huwag kang mahiya sa akin, hubarin mo na damit mo para maumpisahan ko na ang physical check up mo. MISS: umhh… si dok naman.. sige na nga, pero kayo muna.

• In the desert, man trying to rape a camel, but he was kicked. Then he saw a beautiful lady asking for water. "As payment you can do anything you want." Man said, "Could you hold the feet of the camel?"

• Q: What’s the difference between bathing suits before and now? A: Before, you have to open the suit to see the butt. Now, you have to open the butt to see the suit!

• Sa magkakaibigan, dapat nagtutulungan. Kapag nadapa ka, tutulungan kita! Kapag nadapa ka ulit, itatayo kita at kapag nadapa ka na naman, sisipain na kita! Langya! Kinarir mo nah, lampa!

• You are my funny, understanding, cute, kind, intelligent, naughty, God-fearing, sweet, honest, independent, truthful friend. In short, you are my f.u.c.k.i.n.g.s.h.i.t. friend!

• There are eight ways to describe you… jolly, optimist, kyut, exotic, lovable, attractive, nice, gorgeous! In short J-O-K-E L-A-N-G!

• I only have *ex on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!

• Last night, I wanted you. I needed you so badly that it hurts. I wanted to taste you. I wanted you in me so you could work your magic on me, but I couldn't find you. You stupid.. paracetamol!

• It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it's in, the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed, just you and me. It's not what you think, it's a cup of tea!

• When I look at the sun, I see you! When I look at the moon, I see you! When I look at the sea, I see you. Well, get out of my way!

• Tell me. Is it going in? Yeah! Is it hurting? Ooh yeah, Ouch! it's hurting! Ok, I will put it in slowly. Still hurting? Ahh yeah. Then let's try the other shoe, madam.

• Mirror Mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed and then it spat. "It sure ain't you. You ugly prat!"

• Come here. Take off your pants and get on top of me. Enjoy me until you're totally satisfied. Lovingly yours, Toilet!!!!

• I had a wet dream about you last night …. I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

• Mahirap idaan sa walang kibo. Mahirap idaan sa walang salita. Mahirap idaan sa pag-iyak. Kung mahal mo sya, bakit di mo sabihin sa kanya? Malay mo? Malay ko din!

• It's really hard to wait for the right person in your life especially when the wrong ones are so cute!

• There are 70 ways to make a woman happy. Number one is shopping, and the rest is 69! hahaha!

• Pedro: Miss, magkano serbisyo mo? GRO: 500 sa kama, 300 sa sofa, 200 sa sahig at 100 sa damuhan. Pedro: Sige, 500! GRO: Wow, bigatin! Isang beses sa kama? Pedro: Hindi! 5 beses sa damuhan!

• Prayer of the romantically disfranchised delusional or merely hopeful: "Lord, kung sya na, please let everything fall into place. Pero kung hindi sya, eh Lord, pwede bang sya na lang?" =)

• Sun is now up smiling in the sky! The city is alive again with the divine guidance. Good morning mga fans! Your idol is now awake! Pwede nang magtext! =)

• When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the idiot on the face! Whapak! =)

• Sa tuwina'y naaalala ka. Sa pangarap, laging kasama ka. Ikaw ang alaala, sa aking pag-iisa, wala nang… kasunod yan! Matutulog na ako! (-_-)

• Nardo: Tila bebot kung maglakad, nakisabay sa akin, ako'y napatingin sa dalagang nakabalot ng hiwaga. Mapapansin kaya, Adam's apple na namamaga. Kung naloko mo sila, naku lagot at nakilala pa. Koro: Sigaw na nananawagan, baka sakali tol matulungan. Multong baklang iniiwasan, sa pera na lang dinadaan. Nag-aabang ng langit, pati sa CR, naninilip. Sa likod ng mga kwarta, kahit kiss lang daw papa!

• Nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako sa isang farm. Terorista1: Anong nakita mo dyan? Terorista2: Mga sako lang. Terorista1: Tingnan mo ang laman! Sinipa ng terorista ang unang sako, "Meow", sabi ni FVR! Terorista2: Pusa! Sinipa ang pangalawang sako, "Aw aw!" sabi ni GMA! Terorista2: Aso! Sinipa ang ikatlong sako… Walang tunog kaya sinipa uli ito nang sinipa ng terorista. Dahil sa sakit ng sipa, napasigaw na si Erap. "Patatas!"

• Ganoon ba talaga kapag hindi ka na kailangan? Bigla ka na lang mawawalan ng puwang sa puso ng isang tao. Masasaktan ka tapos maiisip mo, "Paano nya ako nagawang saktan?! Eh hindi naman sya kasarapan." =)

• Nakaamoy si ngongo ng pabango sa isang tindahan. Ngongo: Ale, mango! Ale: Pabango yan, hindi alimango! Ngongo: Ale, mango! Nag-agawan sila at nabasag ito. Ngongo: Ale, masag!

• Wishing you the warmth, happiness and goodwill of the season and all the best that new year can bring, Merry Christmas!… Walang pakialamanan! Load ko to! =) Note: Must be sent when it's not Christmas season, hehehe!

• Love is like a bowl of oatmeal; warm, mushy and good for you. Lust is like soup, it is only good when it is hot. =)

• A priest lost his parrot, asked during mass. Anyone got a bird? All men stood up. I mean, anyone seen a bird? All women stood up. I mean, anyone seen my bird? All nuns stood up!

• A few good quotes: 1. Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all; 2. I was born brilliant, education ruined me; 3. Don't drink water, fishes fuck in it. =)

• There was a mommy fish who got seperated from her baby fish. When they saw each other again after a very long time, the mommy fish said to the baby fish: isda you? Boink!

• What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? If we stick together, we can stop this shit! =)

• What's the closest thing to a woman's period? Your salary! It comes once a month, lasts about 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everyone's in trouble!

• I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in and out, up and down, can't wait till next time. I love my toothbrush!

• Viagra now available in eye drops! You don't get an erection but you look hard!

• In the morning I do not eat because I think of you. At noon I do not eat because I think of you. In the evening I do not eat because I think of you, and at night I do not sleep because Im hungry.

• He came to me one night… explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed and had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… damn mosquito!

• Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

• Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth. Thank you for being the pee in my pants. =)

• Someday you may lose your hair. You may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose is your good looks, coz you can't lose what you don't have!

• From the moment I saw you, I wanted to be inside you, I love your smell, the way your tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen, mmmmmmm… new shoes!!!

• A train is about to crash! A frantic virgin strips off and says, "Can anyone make me feel like a woman before I die?" So a man takes off his clothes and says, "Iron these!"

• In our life, there will come a time in where we will hate it because of the things that hurt us but we should never give the blame to our lives because whatever! Waah! Hirap mag-english! Good morning na lang!

• There are tulips in my garden, there are tulips in the park, but nothing is more beautiful than our two lips meeting in the dark!

• One day, a fairy appeared and asked me, "Which would you wish to have, looks or brains?" I told her, "penge na lang pong pera, meron na ako pareho eh!" =)

• Kumusta? May nagtext na ba sa iyo na hindi mo kilala? Baka kasi friend ko yun! Kinuha kasi ang number mo sa akin. Sensya na, ibinigay ko. Mabait naman yun eh, naghahanap daw kasi sya ng aakyat ng niyog… pwede ka ba?

• Ang mga boys, hindi dapat pinaglalaruan, hindi rin niloloko. Kasi, ang mga yan, sobrang magmahal, sobrang masaktan. Iiyak-iyak lang sa sulok, pero kapag yan, gumanti! Loko! Nambubuntis yan! =)

• Sabi, parang paru-paro daw ang tao, sa umpisa daw, mga uod muna tayo, walang ganda. Pero darating ang panahon na magiging ganap na ang kagandahan. Teka, ang tagal mo nang uod ah? =)

• Husband: Mahal, kung hindi ako makaligtas sa operasyong ito, ikaw na sana ang bahala sa mga bata. I love you all! Wife: Tumigil ka! Wala pang namatay sa tuli!

• Ang buhay ay parang prutas, dahil sa usok nagmula ang alikabok na hindi maabot ng pilay. Tandaan na ang pag-ibig ay hindi napupulot sa kalderong mainit. Hindi mo gets? Good evening na lang!

• A lizard fell on a table. Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae; Kikay: Eew, lizard!; Astig: Shit, butiki!; Mataray: Shucks, butiks!; Mayaman: Yuck! La coste!; Mahirap: Pare, ulam!

• I chose you as my friend because you are thoughtful, sweet, loving, caring, understanding, charming, demanding, daring, kambing, bonjing, uling, saging, matsing, duling at may kuliling! hehehe.

• Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir. Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa! Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan?

• Ang buhay ay mahirap, puno ng lumbay at pagsubok, pero kapag ikaw ay nadapa, bumangon ka at buong tapang mong sabihin, "Sino gang tumulak sa akin? Parang tanga eh!"

• niM6l62 62 Y0aanU an62l Y6M This is a Da Vinci Code! To decode, read it in front of a mirror. Pass it on to your friends to show how you love them. =)

• Kung ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon na ito, kanino ka mas higit na hahanga? Sa taong iniwan ang lahat para sa minamahal nya, o sa pusang naghaharlem? =)

• Gusto mong malaman ang wish ko? Sana, isang araw, paggising ko sa umaga, ikaw ang una kong makita, nakangiti sa akin, habang ibinubulong mo sa akin, "Señorito, ito na po ang kape nyo. May ipag-uutos pa ba kayo?!" =)

• Bakit bad trip ang pinya kapag umaga? Marami kasi syang aalising muta! Wahaha! Bukas, bad trip na naman yun. Hehehe.

• For toothpaste ad, they show the teeth. For shampoo ad, they show the hair. For facial soap, they show the face. Pero bakit sa Whisper napkin, walang showing? Unfair naman! =)

• Mawala man ako sa 'yo, maraming darating, higit pa sa akin. Pero kung talagang nakalaan na ako para maging kaibigan mo, babalik ako ilang ulit man akong kuhanin ng ABS-CBN at GMA.

• Ang pagkakaibigan ay parang bulate sa puwet, hindi mo nakikita pero nadarama mo yung kiliti nito. Salamat ha, kasi, isa kang bulate sa pwet ko, ang kati mo dude!

• Pratatatat! Kaboom! Kablaaam! Weewee! Wangwang! Pratatatat! Sugod mga cute! Itext ang mga pangit! Yes sir! Ito, tinext ko na yung isa, lider ata nila.

• When everything seems unfair, when all that you do is not appreciated, I'll go with you, wipe your tears, take you for a walk and tell you, "Ito ang lollipop, tahan na, hindi natin sila bati."

• May nakadinner date ako. May kulangot near her lips. Sinabihan ko na lang na "may kanin near your lips." Dinilaan nya at sabi, "Ikaw talaga, hindi naman kanin eh, ulam!"

• Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagseselos ako kapag may ibang nagpapangiti at nagpapasaya sa 'yo. Hindi naman siguro sa makasarili ako kundi natatakot lang ako na sa sobrang kasiyahan mo, lumobo ang sipon mo!

• Madaling sabihin na mahal mo ang isang tao kahit hindi naman totoo. Simpleng "I love you" tapos send ng quotes. Pero merong mahirap… ang kumain ng saging na kasinglaki nina B1 at B2.

• Kapag naloko ka, huwag kang iiyak. Kapag iniwan ka, huwag kang hahabol. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag kang magmamakaawa. Instead, be proud and say, "Yes! available na ako!"

• You are texting while walking… Daan bike-ilag, daan aso-ilag, daan kotse-ilag, daan trak-ilag, daan si [name]. Stop! Gosh, sino yun? Naman! So cute!

• Sabi nila, minsan, sa buhay natin, kailangan kang mamili kung yung taong mahal mo o mahal ka! Hello?! Hindi na uso yun ngayon, ang tanong, "Yummy ba sya?" =)

• Ang luluma na ng mga jokes nyo! Pare-pareho naman, corny pa! Eto ang bagong joke ko… diaz!

• Teacher(T): Sino pumatay kay Magellan, may initial na LL? Student(S): Lito Lapid? T: Inuulit ang pangalan nya. S: Lito Lito? T: Mahaba ang buhok nya. S: Lotlot? T: Madami sila. S: Lotlot and friends?

• Sa buhay, hindi lahat nabibili o ibinibigay. May gusto tayo na hindi nakukuha, may pangarap na hindi naaabot, may hiling na hindi natutupad. Pero kuntento na ako. Bakit kamo? Kasi, P6.25 na lang ang Tide, pinalaki pa!

• Don't you hate chain texts? They wish you good luck then threaten you with bad luck! So, huwag magpauto. Lumaban ka! Pass to 9000 friends. Don't ignore this, sasara puwet mo!

• I keep on telling my friends about you, how you talk, how you laugh, how you've touched my life. Then, they asked, "Saan ba makakahanap ng tulad nya?" I answered, "Mandaluyong, loob, ward 5, kaliwa."

• Da Vinci… Da Vinci Winchi spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out!

• I was once hurt by someone I really love. I didn't want to give up even if it sucks! But one day, I did. Why? Pagod na ako. Mahirap pala talaga magmahal ng non-showbiz! =)

• Judge: Why did you kill your husband? Wife: He fetched me from the office, took me to bedroom, removed my clothes, laid me on the bed, spread my legs and said… "joke, joke, joke!"

• Kung yung dalawang tao lalayo, kanino ka sasama? Sa bestfriend mo na laging andyan para sa 'yo? O sa minamahal mo na nagmamahal din sa 'yo? Hirap di ba? Ako, wala! Kasi, hahanapin ako sa bahay.

• Please pray for me because I just received my medical result, ang sakit ko… gumaganda ako habang tumatanda. Pero don't worry, hindi ito nakakahawa. Pero hindi na raw ako gagaling. =)

• There are 3 angels sent from heaven - 1st one to guide you in all your doings, 2nd to guard and save you from harm and 3rd angel is destined to text you. Ahem!

• As I watched the ants crawl upon the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate. I hope, we could be like the ants, nakakalakad sa walls. =)

• 70 million people are having sex right now! 40 million are planning to have sex. 30 million are dreaming of it and one expert is busy reading this message! =)

• Minsan, nakakasawa ding itext ka ng hello? Kumusta? Gud am. Gud pm. Kumain na ba u? Ano gawa u? Kaya para maging unique, ibahin naman natin… "tumae ka na ba? Hugas ka ha!"

• Normal is boring! Paranormal is shocking! Criminal is horrifying! Homosexual is bading! And now, the abnormal is reading!! Bawi ka sa iba. =)

• Umaga na naman, gising mga pasaway! Magtanggal ng muta at panis na laway. Humarap sa salamin at sabihin, "Cute ko talaga." Tiyak, ganda inyong umaga kahit kagigising mo pa lang ay nagsinungaling ka na! =)

• Kapag nahuli ka ng mahal mong may kasamang iba, tapos nagalit, sabihin mo… "Kita mo itong rebisco sandwich? Katulad nyo, iba't ibang flavor, pero lahat, love ko!"

• Dear Ate Charo: Problema ko po ang asawa ko, maniac! Luto ako, sex kami. Plantsa ako, sex kami! Laba, nood tv, sex kami! Paalam na po, kasi, aah, ooh, ayan naa namaaan! =)

• GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako! BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah! GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae, magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako! BF: Makinig ka muna… hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka… Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko!

• Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis. Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis? Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!

• Madre: Father, tell your seminarians not to urinate along the fence. Pari: Sister naman! Maliliit na bagay, pinapansin mo. Madre: No! Malalaki, father. Malalakiii!!!

• Ano english ng "Baka maswerte ako"? Beef lucky me! Ano ang "Maswerte ako inay"? Lucky me mami! Ano ang "Maswerte akong lalake"? Lucky me with egg! Boink!

• Trivia: Did you know that scientist found out that cute texters hold their cellphone with their left hand? Oh! Huwag mo nang ilipat, alam kong nasa kanan yan! Mandaya pa raw ba!

• Let's pause for a while and offer a prayer for the soul of our cotexter who just passed away dahil ang tangek, nahulog sa bubong sa kakahanap ng signal! Tange, di ba?

• Poem of love: Kapag binasa mo ito, crush mo ako. Kapag inerase mo, liligawan mo na ako. Kapag save mo, mahal mo ako. Kapag nagreply ka, on na tayo. Kapag nagmiskol ka, pakasal na tayo. Try mong tumawag, honeymoon na tayo.

• Wife: I'm warning you, darating na ang mister ko within one hour. Visitor: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah. Wife: Yun nga eh, kung may plano ka, dalian mo na! Bagal mo naman!

• Quotes to live by: 1. Birds of the same feather are the same birds; 2. Do not do unto others what you can't do; 3. an apple a day is not an apple at night; 4. When the cat is away, the mouse is alone; 5. if others can do it, don't help; 6. tell me who you're friends are and i'll tell you mine; 7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon; 8. ang ilog na tahimik ay malalim, ang ilog na maingay, may naglalaba. =)

• Bawat luha ay mahalaga kaya siguraduhin mong bawat pagluha ay sa karapat-dapat na tao dahil ang luha kapag tumulo ay hindi na maibabalik sa mata, hindi tulad ng uhog na pwedeng masinghot pa. =)

• Ama: Hoy Brando! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha! Anak: Hindi po itay. Punta nga ako sa basketbolan ngayon. Ama: Yan, astig! Anak: Mama, nakita mo pompoms ko?

• If only I had the power to turn back time… if only i could read your mind… Wala lang! Astig di ba? Tapos, marunong pa raw akong lumipad! Yeah! =)

• Life is full of rewards. If you eat properly, exercise and take good care of yourself for 60 years… what is your reward? A senior citizen card! 20% discount. =)

• Text won't flow, everyone knows, when the load fades away. Text will die, and tears in your eyes, you've got to throw your phone up high! Yeah.. yeah. Throw your phone up high!

• At times when you're lonely and have no one to talk to, put your hands together and sing… "Chong koyla, mekurikong sila, tayo wala, hehehe, tayo wala…" Ayos ba?

• A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. The baby asked, "Does this mean I'm an angel?" Fairy laughs, "Of course not! Negrang to, ambisyosa. Paniki ka!"

• Guro: Benito, ako'y may 5 mansanas sa kanang kamay at 10 sa kaliwa, samakatuwid, meron akong… Benito: malalaking kamay ma'am!

• Kung isang oras na lang ang natitira sa buhay ko, at ikaw ang makakasama ko, saan mo ako dadalhin at ano ang gagawin mo para mapasaya mo ako sa isang oras na yun? Sagutin mo ha? Wait ko.

• The true meaning of Pasaload: P2.00 - napipilitan; P5.00 - ok lang; P10.00 loving; P15.00, caring na, loving pa! Saan ka kaya dito? Sige nga, Pasaload ka nga!

• Breakfast ka na! Anong gusto mo? Pizza pie? Pineapple pie? Apple pie? Banana pie? Buko pie? Cherry pie? Hay naku! Mag tina-pie ka na lang! Good morning!

• Don't feel lonely everytime you go to sleep and you're all alone. Isipin mo lang, may nakayakap sa 'yong batang puti ang mata, duguan ang bibig, kulubot ang mukha at nakatitig sa iyo. Sweet dreams!

• Maid cleaning room, found a condom: "Ay, Ano man ini?!" Ma'am: "Wala bang sex sa probinsya nyo, Inday?" Maid: "Meron po naman ma'am, pero hindi naman po hanggang matuklap ang balat."

• Hello, I am a virus, and I am entering your brain now……. sorry, I am leaving, i can't find any brain. Hahaha!

• Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears. When you are happy, no one sees your smile. When you are worried, no one sees your pain. Pero try mong umutot, lahat, titingin sa iyo. Pandidilatan ka pa!

• An elephant asked the camel, "Is that your boobs on your back?" The camel laughed and replied, "What a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face."

• Seksing girl, naglalakad sa Ayala, nakalabas isang s*so. Napansin ng isang lalake. "Miss, yung dede mo, nakalabas." Sexy:"Ay P*tang Ina, Yung baby ko, naiwan sa taxi!"

• Year 2010: Mayaman ka na, may magarang kotse, malaking house. Ako? Ganito pa rin, cute, ma-appeal, crush ng bayan. Huwag ka nang umangal, mayaman ka na nga eh!

• Husband: Sobra ka na, napakaselosa mo! Kung pwede ko lang iwan ang t*ti ko, para hindi ka nag-iisip ng kung ano ano! Wife: Oy oy oy! Ano ako tanga? Iwan mo rin ang dila mo!

• Nahuli ni lalaki ang asawa na kas*x ang kapitbahay! Binaril yung kapitbahay, patay! Wife: Grabe ka naman! Kapag di mo binago ugali mo, mauubos ang mga kapitbahay natin!

• One night, Mark walks alone in Balete, then he heard, "Mark! Mark!". Lumingon sya, walang tao. "Mark! Mark!", tumakbo sya. Pagdating sa kanto, he saw a sign, "Beware: NGONGONG ASO."

• A is 10 years old. B is 20 and C is 7 years younger than D. D graduated in 1996 at 21. Today is year 2006. A was born before B. O, wag ka nang mag-isip! Wala namang tanong. Nangungumusta lang. =)

• A new SMB commercial: "Pare how was your date? Did you guys have se*?""Almost pare, kaya lang SMB e!" "Anong SMB?" "Sh*t May Bay*g!"

• Cute face catches the eyes, but good personality catches the heart. You are blessed because you have them both! Oh, huwag dibdibin! Sa akin ipinadala yan, pinabasa ko lang sa yo.

• Kumatok ang isang ahente sa bahay. Pagbukas ni misis ng pinto, agad pumasok ang ahente at ikinalat sa sahig ang ebak ng kabayo, Sabi ng ahente, "Ma'am, kapag di nalinis ng vacuum cleaner ko ang kalat, kakainin ko ang mga yan." Misis: "ay pu*ang ina ka! umpisahan mo na ang pagkain nyan at brownout kami ngayon!"

• Kapag nadapa ka, kapag nahulog ka, kapag natisod ka, kapag sumemplang ka, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun. Patanga-tanga ka! Pero andito ako, sa likod mo, pinipigil ang tawa.

• Brain twister: It is exclusive for those who are wide readers. Please rearrange the letters to make it 1 word only. "CONE PLAY DICE" No reply, low IQ!

• Laughter is a great mental tonic. It can dispel anxiety, help manage stress, depression, fear and worry. But please, don't laugh alone. Coz there is no medicine for that! Good day!

• Isang gabi, umiiyak ako. Napatingin ako sa buwan. Sabi nya, "Don't cry, may magmamahal din sa 'yo." Sumagot ako, sabi ko, "Buwan, sana hindi ka nakikialam noh? Close ba tayo?"

• This message is strictly intended for cute people only.Since you accidentally received it, there must be a technical error for which I deeply apologize.

• Sabi ng hangin, mabait ka. Sabi ng dagat, matalino ka. Sabi ng ilog at bundok, cute ka. Tama nga talaga ako, sirang sira na talaga ang kalikasan.

• Kadalasan, nakakatakot ang magmahal, dahil nakakatakot masaktan, mahirap umasa, nakakatakot ding mapaglaruan. Pero di ba, mas nakakatakot kapag nalaman mo na kapatid mo pala si mahal? at tatay mo si dagul?

• Kapag iniwan ba kita, hahabulin mo ako? Sasayangin mo ba oras mo para sa akin? Malulungkot ka ba dahil iniwan kita? Sa tingin ko, hindi eh, kasi, noon, iniwan na kita, ang sabi ko, "Stay!" Sabi mo lang.. "Arf! arf!"

• Wishing you a seductive and horny morning, licked by love and penetrated with heavenly graces. May all your problems be ejaculated before the climax of the day. Have a sexy day!

• Pababayaan mo bang maging friends na lang ang turing mo sa kanya? Kahit na mahal mo sya? Huwag kang duwag! Itinulak mo pa sya sa iba, hindi mo alam, nasaktan sya. Bakit? Nasubsob kaya! Putok ang nguso. Magsorry ka!

1000+ Popular Pinoy Text Messages (Part 5 of 8)

DISCLAIMER

Ang bawat text message na ito ay walang kaugnayan sa personal kong pananaw at pag-uugali. Ang koleksyong ito ay mahigit 1,000 mga text message at maaaring ilan dito ay naglalaman ng mga pananalitang hindi angkop sa inyong panlasa.

Hindi ibig sabihing ito ay angkop naman sa akin, at hindi po ako ang kumatha ng mga ito. Ito ay pawang kathang Pinoy na natanggap mo na rin sa message inbox ng iyong mobile phone na maaaring natuwa ka ring i-forward sa iba o kaya'y na-badtrip sa kung ano mang kadahilanan.

Ang mga ito ay maaaring sumalamin sa pagiging masayahin ng mga Pinoy sa kabila ng mga problemang kinakaharap (txt jokes), o pagiging mapagmahal (txt love) at maalalahanin (txt friend, txt greetings, txt quotes, txtcetra) sa pamilya, kaibigan, o sa kaya’y sa sinisinta.

Siguro naman, kung mabasa ninyo na ito at ipabasa din sa iba, hindi na ito ikagugulat. Kung nais niyo namang gawin itong reperensya o archive na mapagkukunan ng mga text message na muling maipapasa, kayo na ang bahala, labas na ako sa usapang iyon at hindi ako promoter ng mga ito at sponsoran ang sinoman sa kanyang e-load.

Kung nais naman ninyong kumuha ng mga sipi sa anomang partikular na text message o kaya kopyahin ito ng buo mula dito sa aking blog, ay magagawa ninyo ito ng may kalayaan. Pero mas maiging ilagay na lamang ninyo ang mga orihinal na links mula dito kung saan ninyo nakuhang pahina. Ito'y bilang kortesiya sa mas malayang pakikipagpalitan ng impormasyon.

O sya, sapat na siguro yun para sa pormalidad. Banat na!

(Part 5) Karugtong …

• Minsan, sa buhay natin, hindi maiiwasang mabasa ng ulan, maranasan ang bagyo. Pero sa mga pagkakataong ito, tandaan mo kaibigan, payong ang dalhin mo, huwag kapote. Ano ka, Grade 1?

• Lovers making love: Gf: Alam mo love, ikaw lang ang nakapagkama sa akin! Bf: Swerte ko naman! Gf: Oo naman! Kasi, yung iba, sa sala, kusina, lababo, kubeta, kulungan, damuhan at marami pa! =)

• I miss the TIMES.. and also the PLUS, MINUS, pati na rin DIBAYDIBAY! Hehehe. Ikaw? Miss mo rin ba?

• Mrs1: O mare, bakit ka umiiyak? Mrs2: Nag-away kami ni pare, gusto nya, sex kami, style aso, tumanggi ako! Mrs1: Masarap naman yun! Mrs2: Masarap nga, kaso, gusto nya, sa kalsada! Ngek!

• While I was walking alone, something special happened, I can't believe what I saw.. Gems!… Yap! Ang tangkad pala nya noh? Kasama pa nya si Kres!

• Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento! Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator? Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko!

• Customer: Miss, pabili ng condom, yung medium. Tindera: Dito sir, isukat nyo sa fitting room. Customer: Maluwang! Tindera: Sige lang sir, yan ang uso ngayon. Hip hop!

• Translate in English: May baliw, gumahasa ng labandera at tumakas. NUT SCREWS WASHER and BOLTS.

• Q: How will a gentleman say to his dinner date that he needs to go to the toilet? A: Excuse me, I have to shake hands with a friend of mine who hopes to meet you after dinner. =)

• Life is like a road that we should pass thru till its very end. But if one day, you feel you're tired walking, I will comfort you in my arms sabay sabi, "May jeep naman kasi, bakit nilakad mo?"

• Kapag ako patay na, punta ka sa burol ko ha? Alam ko, lalapit ka sa kabaong ko para mang-asar at sabihing… "Walanghiya ka [____]! Minsan ka na lang magpainom, bakit kape pa?" Hehehe.

• Kagabi napanaginipan kita, nakaupo ka, nag-iisip ng malalim, nakasimangot at nabubugnot. Awang awa ako sa 'yo, gusto kitang suyuin pero natigilan ako, kasi nakita kong nagpupunas ka ng pwet.

• Noong una, naiilang ako sayo, di ako makalapit, kasi baka di ka friendly. But you proved me wrong. Napakasweet mo pala. Now napatunayan ko na di lahat ng nasa mental, wild!

• Bakla at macho, nagkasabay sa cr. Bakla: Ang laki naman nyang sa 'yo. Macho: Wala na 'tong silbi kasi iniwan na ako ng asawa ko. Puputulin ko na ito at ipapakain sa aso! Bakla: Ggrrr! Aw, aw aw!

• Anak: Inay! Inay! Si kuya, mamamatay na! Ina: Susmaryosep! Bakit, anong nangyari? Anak: Nasilip ko po sya sa kwarto, nanginginig, tumitirik ang mata at bumubula ang t***.

• Promdi(P) bumps a foreigner(F). P: Sorry F: Sorry too P: (napaisip) I'm sorry 3. F: What are you sorry 4? P: Sorry 5! (akala mo, bobo ako no?) F: Sorry but you're sick (walks off) P: Six dapat, di ba?

• Hindi lahat ng magagaling ay nananalo dahil may nandadaya. Hindi lahat ng mataas ang grades ay matalino dahil may nangongopya. Hindi lahat ng cute ay artista, dahil hindi naman ako artista, cute lang talaga!

• A man killed a deer and cooked it but doesn't tell kids what it is. He gives a clue, "Ganyan ang tawag sa akin ng mama nyo." The girl cries out: "Huwag nyo kainin, demonyo yan!"

• Sweethearts watching the sky… Boy: Bhe, ano ang zodiac sign mo? Girl: Anong zodiac sign? Boy: Parang kapalaran ba, gaya sa akin, Cancer. Girl: Ah, sa akin, almoranas.

• Kapag nagyelo ang cellphone mo, nasa Alaska ka na. Kapag mainit ang cellphone mo, nasa Africa ka na. Kapag naglangis, nasa Saudi ka na. At kapag nawala ang cellphone mo, welcome to the Philippines!

• Bagong kasal, Bride: hu, hu, hu! Friend: Bakit? Bride: Ang asawa ko, kasing laki ng bote ang ari. Friend: Aba! ang sarap nu’n! Bride: e, bote ng white flower!

• HOST: Which do you prefer: Being Blonde or Being Dumb? Girl: Dumb na lang at least hindi ako mapagkakamalang blonde!

• Where does a zombie go when he loses a hand? Answer: On a second hand store!

• Patient: Dok, bakit ang tae ko may kasamang plema? Kinakabahan tuloy ako. Dok: ok lang ‘yan. Mas delikado kung pagsinga mo ay may kasamang tae.

• JUAN: Pinsan, bumili ako ng hearing aid. PEDRO: Magkano insan? JUAN: Eh, kahapon lang.

• Ang puso, napapagod din, napapagod maghintay, napapagod magtiis, napapagod magmahal at napapagod ding masaktan. Pagod ka na ba? Pahinga ka muna, hindi naman kailangan na magdamag ang romansa, ‘di ba?

• BOY: Pa-good night kiss naman. GIRL: Cheap mo ha, hindi ako nagpapa-kiss sa first date. BOY: E kung sa last date?

• Maganda ka sa tingin ko, mabango ka sa pang-amoy ko, special ka sa puso ko. Kapag ako’y binigo mo, "bilog ang mundo" ang katapat mo.

• Nurse: Ilan ho ang anak ninyo inang? Patient: 25 po. Nurse: Sus ginoo, ang dami naman! ‘di ka ba gumamit ng pills, condom, iud, withdrawal? Patient: krus my hart, ti** lang talaga!

• I’m restless, I’m depress, I’m lonely, I’m sad and I'm getting crazy all for just two reasons: Narito ako sa gitna ng kagubatan, nag-iisa, tapos low bat pa ang cell ko! nakakabaliw, ‘di ba?!

• According to Science, man came from monkeys. I beg to disagree. Bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?!

• A Thai surnamed Mongkikimo commited suicide when his Pinay girlfriend Paquita wouldn’t marry him. The girl could not bear her family name “Paquita Mongkikimo”.

• Sincere apology: If you do not like to read my SMS or don’t like to read or if my messages disturb you, then please don’t hesitate, feel free to throw your cellphone!

• How can a woman tell if she’s flat chested? She looks down on her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees.

• How good are you in Math? 2/7 + 9- 5/ 4/ 8- 2/ 5- 4/ 12- 8/2. The question: Sa palagay mo, relatives si Fernando Jose at Fernando Poe?

• 7 days makes 1 week; 7 days of sex makes 1 weak; but no sex in a week makes 1 sick; however, good sex once a week makes 1 seek.

• Brand statements of new condoms: Swift condoms - Mighty meaty! Purefoods - Tender juicy! Barney's - A bite full of fun! Max's condoms- Sarap to the bones!

• Are you curious as to where was Viagra originated from? For sure a Filipino coined the word “Viagra”. Just examine the root word.

• Question: Why do Dracula's neighbors hate him? Answer: Because he is a pain in the neck!

• Stay humble, be faithful, offer hope, work diligently, fight fairly, live simply, love deeply, give generously, they say, "Bwisit! Kaya ko ba to?"

• Define Agony: It's like a one-armed man hanging at the edge of a cliff by his only arm with his butt devastatingly itchy. Define Doom: Kinamot nya! =)

• Masarap titigan ang taong mahal mo at isiping magkasama kayo. Masayang managinip, masayang mangarap, pero mas masaya sana kung habang tumititig ka, naghuhubad sya, di ba? hehehe

• Bakit hindi lalake ang nanganganak? Eh paano mo nga naman palalabasin dun ang bata? Ano yun, parang toothpaste?

• Gaano man kalalim ang ilog, dagat o karagatan, lagi mo sanang tatandaan, hanggang dibdib lang ng duck yan! =)

• Naranasan mo na bang magmahal at masaktan dahil iniwan ka nya? Tapos, bigla kayong nagkita, nginitian ka at nasabi mo sa sarili mo, "Bakit ganun? Iisa na lang ang ngipin nya, gumagalaw pa kapag tumatawa?"

• Ina: Anak, dumudugo ang daliri mo! Akina't sisipsipin ko, dali! Tsup! Tsup! Ayan, wala na. Saan ka ba nasugatan, anak? Anak: Wala po akong sugat, pinatay ko lang po ang garapata ni Brownie!

• Driver: Hoy, tambay! Aatras ko BMW ko ha, sabihan mo ako kung mabubunggo na! Tambay: Ok. Sige, atras… Atras pa! Sige, atras pa! Atras pa! BOG! Ok, bunggo na! =)

• Bitoy: Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo? Dagul: Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo? Dagul: Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin!

• Ang tunay na cute, once in a lifetime lang magpapakita. Kaya kapag dumaan sa 'yo, aba! Tawagin mo! At sabihin mong, "[name]," saan ka pupunta? Dito ka muna, tabi tayo!

• Tatay: Anak, painumin mo ang kalabaw! Anak: Opo tay! Anak: Tay, ayaw uminom ng kalabaw eh! Tatay: Saan mo ba inilagay? Anak: Sa baso! Tatay: Sus! Katangang bata! Lagyan mo ng straw.

• Magandang gabi po. Magtatanong lang po. Totoo po ba po na ang mga cute daw po ay magagalang po?

• Sa pag-aasawa daw ng tao, dapat nating tularan ang ibon na bago raw magpamilya, meron nang nakahandang pugad. Kaya kung ikaw ay mag-aasawa, huwag ka nang magpagawa ng bahay. Pugad na lang, mas mura pa! =)

• Sabi nila, ang taong maingay, bolero sa text. Tahimik, makulit sa text. Two-timer, sweet sa text. Stick to one, matipid sa text. Pero ang mga cute, eto, patext-text!

• Nasa bangka ka, kasama mo ang syota mong two-timer at yung bestfriend mong backfighter nang biglang lumubog yung bangka. Anong una mong sasagipin, yung bangka o yung sagwan? =)

• A woman gave birth to quadruplets. Upon seeing her husband, she got out of her hospital bed and slapped him shouting, "Kita mo ang epekto ng dog style!" =)

• A girl newcomer in hell complained to Satan: "Ang daming cute guys dito, kaya lang, ang liliit ng bird." Satan: "Gaga! Kung malaki yan, eh di para ka ring nasa heaven!"

• Two wives shopping at market. Wife1: Mare, alam mo, tuwing makakakita ako ng patatas, naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko. Wife2: Oh, talaga? Bakit, ganyan kalaki? Wife1: Ano? Hindi noh, ganyan kadumi!

• A guy wanted to lose weight. He went to a diet center. It offered plan A or B. He took plan A. He was then taken to a room wherein a good looking naked girl with a "If you catch me, you can f*ck me!" sign was waiting for him. He never caught her but he lost 50 lbs! After 3 days, he decided to try plan B, thinking that it should be better. Excited, he quickly entered the room. A horse was in the room with a sign that says, "I will f*ck you if I catch you!" Waaaa!

• Five reasons why I text you. You make me feel welcome (I assume). I make you smile (I suppose). You appreciate my thoughts (I hope). You spend time reading my message (I guess). You think I'm cute (I'm sure). =)

• Sa pagdaan ko sa daan ng buhay, alam ko na hindi ako matitisod sa mga lubak ng daan. Dahil may kaibigan akong kagaya mo para sabihin sa akin na "May hump, may hump, may hump, may hump, may hump. Check it out!"

• Titiisin na sana kita, iiwasan at kakalimutan, kahit saglit, kahit mahirap, kakayanin, pipilitin. Pero balewala rin pala, hindi ko pala kaya. Kasi, naka-unlimited ako. Dapat, sinasamantala. =)

• Life is short, live it! Love is rare, grab it! Anger is bad, dump it! Fear is awful, face it! Memories are sweet, cherish it! Sender is cute, admit it! =)

• GF ni [_____] ito. Pwede bang tigilan mo na ang pagtetext sa BF ko?! Dahil sa ganyan, napapabayaan na nya ang pag-aartista nya! Fan ka ba nya? Ha? =)

• May 7 baboy sa 1 box. Sa box na yun, may 23 pairs na pato at isang sisiw. Yung sisiw, may nakain na 56 na bulate, tapos may 5 ibon. Ang tanong: Musta na u?!

• Kung ang kaibigan ng nanay mo ay pinsan ng kapatid ng kapitbahay ng tiyahin ng pinsan mo sa side ng tatay ng tiyahin na kapatid ng tatay mo, ano naman ang pakialam mo? =)

• Boss: Bakit ka nanginginig? Sec: Sorry sir, ngayon lang ako nakapasok sa motel. Boss: Saan kaya ang remote ng aircon? Sec: Dyan, nakatago sa gilid ng drawer, bandang kanan, kulay gray. =)

• Huwag kang malulungkot o magdaramdam kapag ika'y nag-iisa. Sapagkat sa mata ng duling, lahat tayo ay dalawa. Hangga't may duling, hindi ka nag-iisa!

• A girl phoned a guy, "Come on over, there's nobody home…" When the guy got there, there was nobody home. Hahaha!

• Hi! Ano gawa mo? Me, I'm propagating a unicameral form of idiosyncrasy occuring malevolently in meritorious piece of clasterubial brain. In short, nakatunganga! =)

• Nanay: Anak, bili ka nga ng asin. Puchoi: Ayoko po, madilim na. Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo naman si Jesus eh. Puchoi: Si Jesus na lang po ang utusan nyo. =)

• I want to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in six months! Lawyer: Better think it over, wives like that are very hard to find!

• Sa lahat ng nakakakilala kay Mahal, pray for her, na malayo sya sa peligro. Nasa hospital sya ngayon, nasa ICU, inooperahan. Nabangga sya ng trak. trak-trakan. =)

• Nobody teaches a fish to swim, or a squirrel to run and climb a limb. Nobody teaches an owl to say "whoo". Nobody teaches a cat to say "meow." Kasi, wala silang teacher.

• Bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni Superman? Wala na kasing medium! Napansin mo, fit masyado, di ba? Hehehe.

• Sa ngayon, malayo tayo sa isa't isa, hindi tayo nagkikita, at alam kong namimiss mo din ako. Pero tandaan mo, kung gusto mo akong makita, tingin ka sa taas, baka sakaling makita mo ang billboard ko.

• Salesgirl: Sir, you can't smoke here. Customer: But I bought these cigars from your store. Salesgirl: We sell condoms also, but it doesn't mean that you can f*ck here.

• Ang tunay na friend, ipagmamalaki mo, nakasuporta sa 'yo, hindi ka ibabagsak, komportable ka, mahigpit ang kapit at malapit sa puso mo… parang bra.

• Ang gabi ay itim, sa labas ay madilim. Tumingin ka man, cguradong madilim. Buksan mo man ang yong mga mata, kulay itim. Nangangahulugan, ang madilim ay itim. HUh?

• A friend is: 1% funny 2% sweet 3% caring 4% loving 90% good looking. Akong ako, di ba? Huwag ka nang kumontra. Piso ko to! =)

• I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're grown up, I have one question, Ano ba talagang nangyari??!

• If you need me, you know how to call me. Just shout "DYOSA NG KAGANDAHAN!" I'll be there for you. Don't abuse it ha? For emergency use only!!!

• Ang kaibigan ay parang ebak, mainit at malambot, mahirap tiisin, hindi mo magawang tapakan sapagkat madikit. Parang ikaw, hindi kita kayang tiisin at saktan. Have a nice day ebs!

• Erap to Taxi: To the airport hurry! 1st sign airport 50m, 2nd sign airport 10m, 3rd sign airport Left! Erap: You stupid, you're too slow, the airport already left!

• Ever wonder why the sun LIGHTENS our hair, but DARKENS our skin? Why is it that to STOP Windows 98, you have to click START? Why is 'ABBREVIATED' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do PRACTICE? Why is the man who invests all your money called BROKER?

• The true meaning of GLOBALIZATION: Princess Diana, a Welsh princess, with an English husband, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicines. This message was created by a Filipino on a Finnish celphone smuggled from China by a Pakistani and sold by an Indian businessman. =)

• Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, pakawalan mo sya, at kapag bumalik sya, kayo talaga para sa isa't isa. Pero kung hindi na sya bumalik, tanga! Habulin mo, naniwala ka naman sa quotes! =)

• Naguguluhan ako. Di ba, yung Victory Liner, Pascual Liner, Alfonso Liner at G Liner, mga bus yun? Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba yun? Saan naman ang byahe nila?

• Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're? Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko. Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo? Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban! =)

• Mga tisoy at tisay, mga gwapo at magaganda, mga muse at escort, mga cute, mga crush ng bayan, ang "leader" nyo ay matutulog na! Hehehe! Ang magreact, insecure! Good night! =)

• Juan: Pedro, nasaksak ako! Walang hinto ang tagas ng dugo. Please, call me a nurse. Call me a nurse, bilis! Pedro: Sige, you're a nurse! Nurse ka Juan! You're a nurse! Nurse kah!

• Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain, an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short, a gentle death! Ang lalim! Dati, love is blind lang!

• Always remember, whe she cancels a date, it is because she "has to." But when he cancels a date, it is because he "has two!" Hahaha!

• Peaceful morning as you wake up. Take a bath, eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb your hair, leave the house, take a ride. Aaayy! Wala ka pa palang damit! Balik! Balik! =)

• Siguro, minsan kailangang madapa. Bakit? Wala lang, para agaw eksena lang. Hehe!

1000+ Popular Pinoy Text Messages (Part 4 of 8)

DISCLAIMER

Ang bawat text message na ito ay walang kaugnayan sa personal kong pananaw at pag-uugali. Ang koleksyong ito ay mahigit 1,000 mga text message at maaaring ilan dito ay naglalaman ng mga pananalitang hindi angkop sa inyong panlasa.

Hindi ibig sabihing ito ay angkop naman sa akin, at hindi po ako ang kumatha ng mga ito. Ito ay pawang kathang Pinoy na natanggap mo na rin sa message inbox ng iyong mobile phone na maaaring natuwa ka ring i-forward sa iba o kaya'y na-badtrip sa kung ano mang kadahilanan.

Ang mga ito ay maaaring sumalamin sa pagiging masayahin ng mga Pinoy sa kabila ng mga problemang kinakaharap (txt jokes), o pagiging mapagmahal (txt love) at maalalahanin (txt friend, txt greetings, txt quotes, txtcetra) sa pamilya, kaibigan, o sa kaya’y sa sinisinta.

Siguro naman, kung mabasa ninyo na ito at ipabasa din sa iba, hindi na ito ikagugulat. Kung nais niyo namang gawin itong reperensya o archive na mapagkukunan ng mga text message na muling maipapasa, kayo na ang bahala, labas na ako sa usapang iyon at hindi ako promoter ng mga ito at sponsoran ang sinoman sa kanyang e-load.

Kung nais naman ninyong kumuha ng mga sipi sa anomang partikular na text message o kaya kopyahin ito ng buo mula dito sa aking blog, ay magagawa ninyo ito ng may kalayaan. Pero mas maiging ilagay na lamang ninyo ang mga orihinal na links mula dito kung saan ninyo nakuhang pahina. Ito'y bilang kortesiya sa mas malayang pakikipagpalitan ng impormasyon.

O sya, sapat na siguro yun para sa pormalidad. Banat na!

(Part 4) Karugtong …

• Kapag sinaktan at ipinagpalit ka ng mahal mo at inimbitahan ka pa sa kasal nila, pumunta ka, hawakan mo ang kamay nya at ibulong mo, "Sukob ang kasal mo!"

• Minsan, mahuhuli mo akong nakatitig sa iyo! Huwag mo na lang akong pansinin! Sabi kasi ng mama ko, cute daw ako kaya iniisip ko kung anong itsura ng hindi cute!

• A couple at the wishing well, husband leans over, made a wish and throws coin. Wife made a wish, but leans too much, falls in and drowns. Husband: Hala, ang bilis naman! =)

• Ano ang tawag sa hipon na madalas madisgrasya? Eh di, accident prawn! Ano ang tawag sa mabilis sa pagkain? Fast food! Sa mas mabilis? Fasta! E ang pinakamabilis? Sofas!

• Hmm, random question, try mo lang sagutin. Kapag nagpapicture ba ang mascot, ngumingiti din ang tao sa loob? I wonder.. =)

• There maybe those on earth who dress better or eat better, but those who dream of me sleep better and wake up happier! Good night!

• Sa simbahan, isang bata: Lord, bigyan nyo po ako ng bike! Kinabukasan, wala syang natanggap kaya humiling ulit sya: Lord, bigyan nyo ako ng bike!! Pero wala pa ring natanggap. The next day, napansin ng pari na nawala ang rebulto ni Mama Mary! May nakita syang sulat sa altar: "Lord, kung gusto mo pang makita ang mama mo, bigyan mo ako ng bike!"

• What is the best and worst news a man might hear at the same time? It's when your girlfriend says, "Ikaw talaga ang may pinakamalaking etits sa lahat ng kabarkada mo!" =)

• Thought of the Day: Kapag binuhat ba kita at binuhat mo ako ng sabay, lulutang ba tayo pareho?

• Even though you're far away, always remember that I'm here to stay. So, if ever you're lonely and blue, pacheck-up ka oy! Walang taong blue! Ano ka, si Doraemon?! Hehehe.

• Binata: Ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyo. Ale: Huwag muna. Nag-aaral pa sya. Binata: Sige po, kapag uwian na lang nila.

• Kapag balisa ka, remember God's promise. Kapag inis ka, control yourself. Kapag may problema, pray. At kapag wala kang pera, isipin mo ako. Kasi, hindi ka nag-iisa. Wala din akong pera! Hehehe.

• Lasing: Hoy! Sinong matapang?! Labas! Lalake: Ako! Bakit? Lalaban ka?! Lasing: Pare, ihatid mo naman ako sa bahay, natatakot ako kay misis eh. =)

• Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak? Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu! Ama: Aba, magaling! Anong subject yun, anak? Anak: Pregnancy test po itay!

• It's my obligation to pray for you, to make you happy and comfort you. When you're down, I will lift your spirits. Wala naman akong choice eh, ganyan ang papel ng mga angels.

• Parrot sa dumadaang babae: Panget! Panget! Babae: Kapag sinabi mo pa ulit yan sa akin, papatayin na kita! Next day. Parrot: Psst! Babae: Bakit?! Parrot: Alam mo na! =)

• Kano: (trying to speak tagalog) Megkanow isang kelow mang-gow? Pinoy: One way! Kano: Megkanow? Pinoy: I said one way! Kano: Ano eybig sabeyhin one way? Pinoy: Isang daan!

• Boy Guwapo + Girl Ganda = Perfect Couple. Boy Guwapo + Girl Panget = True Love. Boy Panget + Girl Ganda = Galing Diskarte. Boy Panget + Girl Panget = SUKOB!

• Nurse: Miss, gising na! Patient: Ah, bakit? Nurse: Oras na ng pag-inom ng gamot. Patient: Anong gamot? Nurse: Sleeping pills.

• Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain! Juan: Maniwala ako?! Pedro: Totoo! Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo? Pedro: Asin!

• I ask God to bless you, guide you, keep you safe, give you peace, give you love and joy and cash everyday. Ok yon, di ba?

• Marami ang nagsasabi na makulit daw ako. Totoo ba? Na makulit ako? Ha? Totoo ba? Ano? Totoo ba? Sagoooot! Totoo ba? Ha? Ha? Totoo? Ano? Totoo? Huuyy! Ano? Makulit ba ako? Makulit ba? Hindi naman di ba? Sagot! Bakit hindi ka sumagot? Kulit ko ba talaga? Hindi naman, di ba? Baka ikaw ang makulit! Kaw pala ang makulit, pindot ka pa ng pindot eh. Kita mo, ikaw ang makulit! O, pumipindot pa rin! O, kulit! Oh, ano? Pindot ka pa rin? Bahala ka! Wala na, pindot pa rin ng pindot! Sino ngayon ang makulit? Ikaw!

• Jr: I know the truth, Mom! Mom: Ha?! Ito P500, huwag ka lang maingay sa daddy mo ha? Jr: Dad, I know the truth! Dad: Ha?! Ito P1000, huwag ka lang maingay sa mommy mo ha! Jr: (Ok pala ito! Subukan ko nga din sa katulong namin.) Inday! Alam ko na ang katotohanan! Inday: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ako, anak ko!

• Three boys at the mall: Boy1: Shit, ang cute naman nung girl! Boy2: Sexy pa! Grabe! Boy3: Sino? Yung nakamini-skirt? Kilala ko sya, tawagin ko ha?! Kuyaaaah! =)

• Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kunin ko lang ang toothbrush ko! Sister: Sandali, nakapanty lang ako! Pari: Ok, antay ako. Sister: Pasok na, wala na akon panty! Hihihi!

• Short story… 2 friends, See and Saw. One day, See saw sea and Saw didn't see sea. See saw sea and jumped in sea. Saw didn't see sea but jumped in sea. See saw Saw in sea and Saw saw See in sea. See saw both Saw and sea and both Saw and See were happy to see sea. Kung henyo ka, ikwento mo naman sa akin ng mas malinaw.

• When things go wrong, when everything you've tried didn't work out, when all else fails, and you feel things hanging… Control+Alt+Del… restart mo na yan!

• A little boy was so jealous about his newborn brother so he put poison on the nipple of his mom while asleep. The next day, their driver died!

• Lion to mouse: "I'm getting married soon. What's the best advice you can give me?" Mouse: "Remember this, I was once a lion before I got married."

• Army: I'm going to buy my wife a bra but I don't know the size. Saleslady: Don't worry sir, just touch my breast and try to estimate. Army: Oh, I forgot! She needs panty too!

• I love sleep… My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake. - Ernest Hemingway.

• Babae: Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko? Doc: Sorry ma'am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo sa kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa. Babae: Hah?! Hindi nga?! Doc: Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!

• Kulas: Siopao nga, yung babae. Waitress: Babae? Kulas: Oo, yung may papel na sapin, parang napkin. Waitress: Ah! Lalake ang nandito. Kulas: Lalake? Waitress: May itlog po!

• Amo: Inday, titira dito ang biyenan ko ng 3 buwan. Ito ang listahan ng mga favorite nyang pagkain. Maid: Opo, sir. Amo: Kapag may niluto ka dyan, lagot ka sa akin!

• Mrs: Naniniwala ka ba na ang babae habang tumatanda ay gumaganda? Mr: Oo naman. Mrs: Sa tingin mo, gumaganda ba ako? Mr: Sa tingin ko, hindi ka tumatanda.

• Ei! Baka may friend ka na gustong magwork. P18,500 ang starting. Sa palengke nga lang… tagalista ng noisy!

• Ngayon ay araw ng mga magaganda at gwapo, mga sexy at matalino. Send this sa taong iniisip mong bumabagay sa message na ito. Huwag mo nang isend sa akin dahil libo-libo na ang natanggap ko!

• Prof: Meron bang tanga dito sa klase? Kung meron, tumayo! (May tumayong estudyante.) Prof: Tanga ka ba? Estudyante: Naawa lang ako sa iyo sir. Ikaw lang ang nakatayo eh, samahan na kita.

• Read each word reversely. A suomaf rotcod dlot em taht ylno latnem stneitap evah eht tnelat ot daer SMS neve nehw sti nettirw ylesrever. Oh, nabasa mo?

• Shhh, ayon sa survey, sa ganitong oras daw, ang mga cute ay nagtetext na at ang mga pangit ay nagbabasa pa! Hehehe! Ipasa mo, dali! Para ikaw naman ang cute!

• Juan: Inay, si Pedro, hindi ako pinagkape sa burol ng tatay nya. Nanay: Hayaan mo anak, kapag namatay ang tatay mo, hindi rin natin sya pagkakapehin.

• Son: Itay, pinagalitan ako ng titser ko! Dad: Bakit? Son: Hinalikan ko po ang seatmate ko. Dad: Tong anak ko, manang mana. Hehehe. Eh, masarap ba? Son: Opo, pogi po sya eh.

• Babala: Huwag laruin ang puso ng babae dahil nag-iisa lang ito. Ok lang laruin ang suso, dalawa naman ito.

• Minsan, puro ako biro, laging parang nakadrugs, lagi na lang nakatawa. Pero sana, maniwala ka sa akin, nagseseryoso din ako. Ako, ako ang magliligtas sa mundo, maniwala ka pare. =)

• Bawat kabataan, may karapatan. Karapatang gumala, umuwi anytime, makipagdate sa dyowa. Magalit man ang parents mo, sabihin mo, "Sa bahay na ito, ako ang batas!" Sabay takbo!

• Kagabi, nanaginip ako, kumakain daw ako ng cotton candy. Maraming cotton candy. Pagkagising ko, wala na ang unan ko!

• Sexy girl nagkukumpisal. Priest: O iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal? Sexy: Father, kapag nakakarinig po ako ng lalakeng nagmumura, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong yayain syang magsex. Priest: Put*ng ina, hindi nga?! =)

• Man1: May tatlong joke ako. Man2: Ano yun? Man1: Joke, joke joke!

• Mag-asawa, nag-aaway. Babae: Punyeta ka! Lalake: Punyeta ka rin! Babae: Tarantado! Lalake: Tarantado ka rin! Babae: Supot! Lalake: Yun nga lang… =)

• Apo: Lola, 99 na kayo ni lolo, ano ang ikinamatay nya kanina? Lola: Apo, nagmake-love kami. Sinasabayan nya ang church bell, dahan-dahan lang. Kaso, may dumaang sorbetero. =)

• May mga lalakeng ok sa malayuan, talo naman sa malapitan. Tawag sa kanila, mga lalakeng uy! ay! Uy! Ang cute nya! Ay, bading pala! Sapul ba? Toink!

• A man reads a book in bed next to his wife and his finger went to tickle his wife's pussy. Wife asks, "You want sex?" "No, just to wet my fingers to turn the page!"

• Can you beat this logic? A man and his wife were getting divorce at a local court. The mother wants the custody of their children, but the father also wants the same. The mother said to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain the custody of them. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and said, "Judge, if I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belongs to me or to the machine?"

• Hubby and wife travelling by car, not talking after quarrel. Passing farm of goats, mules and pigs, hubby asked sarcastically, "Relative of yours?" Wife replied, "Yup, in-laws!"

• Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.

• A priest at a church. Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari? Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha!

• Ice cream ba talaga yung inendorse in Pacquiao sa TV ad nya na Nestle Ice Cream? Akala ko kasi, softdrinks. Kasi, sabi nya, "Oh mga bata, Mirinda na!" Lufet!

• Sa isang kumbento, may naghagis ng ti** ng kabayo. Nagkagulo, nagsigawan at nag-iyakan ang mga madre sabay sabing, "Huhuhu, mga sisters, patay na si father!"

• Pare1: Hihiwalayan ko na ang Misis kong sinungaling. Natulog daw sya kagabi sa ate nya. Pare2: Anong masama dun? Pare1: Pare, katabi kong natulog ang ate niya kagabi!

• Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. Count the money in your pocket, and then, hati tayo! Wow!

• Ang ulan, handa ka man o hindi, bumubuhos. Pero sa tuwing papatak ito, may isang taong handang mabasa kasama mo. Sya yung taong wala ring payong! Of course! =)

• Frat leader: Balita ko, gay ka?! Member: Hindi ako bakla! Chismax lang yun ng mg chuvanes na walang magawa sa mga chenelyn nila! Mga chaka ever! Me, Baklush? Haller?!

• Teacher: Magbigay ng halimbawa ng may number. Boy: Cellphone, calculator, keyboard, clock at remote control! Teacher: Very good. Ano pa? Boy: Ang tatay ko pa. May number 2!

• GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan? Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na "Sugarfree." GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!

• Husband: Hindi ako makatulog, lagi kong naiisip ang utang ko kay pare na dalawang milyong piso. Wife: Tawagan mo si pare, sabihin mo, hindi ka makakabayad para sya naman ang hindi makatulog.

• Reporter: Sir, do you watch CNN? Pinoy: Walang oras. R: Do you read books? P: Walang oras. R: Do you play golf? P: Walang oras. R: Do you drink wine or liquor? P: Walong oras!

• Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like., because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. Minikaniko ni Moniko ang makina ni Monica. Bituka, butika, butiki. Pasko, paksiw, pasko, paksiw. Tongue twister lang, akala mo, inspirational? =)

• Tumabi ako sa iyo at huminga ng malalim. Tinanong mo ako, "Bakit?" Ngumiti ako. Nagtanong ka ulit, "Bakit nga?" Sumagot ako, "Bakit ba? Masama bang huminga?"

• Tatay: Asensado na talaga ang anak natin sa US. Ito, nagpadala ng picture, nakasandal sa kotse. Basahin mo nga ang nakasulat sa likod. Nanay: Inay, nagpapasalamat ako, kasi, kung hindi dahil sa kotse na ito, natumba na ako sa sobrang gutom.

• Para sa makulit, pero mabait. Para sa sabog, pero kalog. Para sa mapang-asar, pero thoughtful. Para sa maloko, pero cute. Para sa akin pala ito?! Pakisend nga ulit!

• Love, love, love, ipasok mo na! Sige na, bilisan mo! Bilis, basa na! Basang basa na, ipasok mo na! Ipasok mo na, bilis! Ipasok mo na ang mga isinampay kong damit at umuulan na!

• Hindi ko na kayang mabigo sa love. Kaya kumuha ako ng taling matibay, itinali ko sa puno. Sabi ng mga kapitbahay, "Huwag, mahal ka namin!" Sabi ko, "Eh ano naman? Magsasampay lang ako, nakikialam kayo!"

• Boy: Kukunin ko ang mga bituin at ibibigay ko sa iyo! Girl: Shut up! Hindi mo nga makuha yang kulangot mo, bituin pa! Boy: Ay sorry, hindi ko alam na ito pala ang gusto mo!

• Ahas1: Makamandag ba tayo? Ahas2: Ewan, bakit? Ahas1: Nakagat ko ang dila ko kanina eh, kinakabahan ako.

• Bakit exciting ang text? Kasi sa text, cute ang panget! Puwedeng single ang married! Bida ang mga sinungaling! At sa text, bistado ang walang load!

• BOY: Sir alam mo, kapag lumaki na ang anak mo, magaling ding driver. Sir: Paano mo naman nasabi ‘yon? BOY: E, sir, kamukha ng driver n’yo ang anak mo.

• ABS-CBN Report: Ang paglindol, ulan at pagtaas ng tubig ay hudyat ng pagbabawas ng unggoy. Worried ako sa iyo! Text mo ako kung nandiyan ka pa, ok?

• Kapag kulang ka raw, kapag kulang ka raw, sa sex, sa sex, nadodoble daw, nadodoble daw, paningin paningin mo mo, tama ba? tama ba?

• Fact 1: You cannot touch your lower lip with your tongue. Fact 2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it. =)

• Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo? Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako. =)

• Girl: Maganda ba ako? Boy: Oo, kaya lang bumbayin ka. Girl: Hindi naman ako mukhang bumbay ah. Tisay yata to! Boy: Tanga! Bumbayin ang amoy mo! Para kang shawarma.

• Isang gabi, naglayas ako, naligaw sa mundo, nadapa, umiyak, naghabol, nasugatan, pero tumayo ulit. Galing noh? Isang gabi lang yun!

• Letter to OFW Dad: Love, thanks sa padala mo. Happy si Nene kasi yung toblerone, baon nya sa school. Yung Nike, suot na ni junior. Next time, huwag ka nang magpadala ng Nivea Milk. Hindi nila type, pait daw. Ako tuloy ang umubos.

• Ito ang chain message na siguradong ipapasa mo: "Magkakaringworm sa pwet ang huling makakareceive nito." Sori na lang sa mga walang load!

• In a petshop, customer talking to a parrot, "Hoy! Can you speak ha? Can you speak? Bobo!" Parrot: "Yes, I can!! Ikaw? Can you fly, ha? Can you fly? Gago!"

• Sa panaginip ko, naglalaro tayo sa tabing dagat, bigla ka na lang tinangay ng malaking alon! Umiyak ako at sumigaw! "Loko kang alon ka ah! Ano bang akala mo sa kaibigan ko? Tae?!"

• IQ Test: A farmer has 12 cows and 5 pigs. One day, he went to the market with 2 cows and 3 pigs not knowing that 6 cows followed him on the way. The question is, will he… Revillame?

• Anak: Nay, ano ba yung sex? Ina: Yun ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa para ipadama ang pagmamahal nila sa isa't isa. Anak: Haba naman. Paano ko pagkakasyahin yun sa biodata? =)

• Higa kita sa kama. Tapos, huhubaran kita. Hahalikan kahit saan. Hahaplusin ko buong katawan mo! Tapos, tatanggalin ko ang Diaper mo. Baby, don't cry ha!

• Lucio Tan said, if a man has only 1 wife, wife often fights man; if man has 2 wives, wives fight each other; but if man has 4 wives, the wives play mahjong.

• Happy 40 thoughtful years, Goldilocks! Send this to 40 people within 2 days or else, magiging cake ka! Totoo ito! Yung friend ko, naging cake na. Black forest na sya.. promise!

1000+ Popular Pinoy Text Messages (Part 3 of 8)

DISCLAIMER

Ang bawat text message na ito ay walang kaugnayan sa personal kong pananaw at pag-uugali. Ang koleksyong ito ay mahigit 1,000 mga text message at maaaring ilan dito ay naglalaman ng mga pananalitang hindi angkop sa inyong panlasa.

Hindi ibig sabihing ito ay angkop naman sa akin, at hindi po ako ang kumatha ng mga ito. Ito ay pawang kathang Pinoy na natanggap mo na rin sa message inbox ng iyong mobile phone na maaaring natuwa ka ring i-forward sa iba o kaya'y na-badtrip sa kung ano mang kadahilanan.

Ang mga ito ay maaaring sumalamin sa pagiging masayahin ng mga Pinoy sa kabila ng mga problemang kinakaharap (txt jokes), o pagiging mapagmahal (txt love) at maalalahanin (txt friend, txt greetings, txt quotes, txtcetra) sa pamilya, kaibigan, o sa kaya’y sa sinisinta.

Siguro naman, kung mabasa ninyo na ito at ipabasa din sa iba, hindi na ito ikagugulat. Kung nais niyo namang gawin itong reperensya o archive na mapagkukunan ng mga text message na muling maipapasa, kayo na ang bahala, labas na ako sa usapang iyon at hindi ako promoter ng mga ito at sponsoran ang sinoman sa kanyang e-load.

Kung nais naman ninyong kumuha ng mga sipi sa anomang partikular na text message o kaya kopyahin ito ng buo mula dito sa aking blog, ay magagawa ninyo ito ng may kalayaan. Pero mas maiging ilagay na lamang ninyo ang mga orihinal na links mula dito kung saan ninyo nakuhang pahina. Ito'y bilang kortesiya sa mas malayang pakikipagpalitan ng impormasyon.

O sya, sapat na siguro yun para sa pormalidad. Banat na!

(Part 3) Karugtong …

• Tatay: Juan, mag-aral ka ha! Juan: Ayoko tay, bobo kasi ako. Hindi ako makaintindi. Tatay: Mag-aral ka nga para makaintindi ka! Juan: Ayoko nga tay! Bakit hindi ka makaintindi? Bobo ka rin ba tay?!

• Last night, my pillow saw me sad. He asked, "Why are you crying? Why are those tears falling on me?" Know what I did? Syempre, tumakbo ako! Ikaw kaya ang kausapin ng unan?! English pa!

• The time I saw you, I admit I can't resist to look at your face. The eyes, cheeks, almost everything seem perfect. Then I said to myself, "Walang duda, si Bakekang ito!"

• When moon and stars at night are gone, and the sun is nowhere to be found at day, there could only be one reason for that. Andun na kay Lumen! Sinungkit na lahat ni Lando!

• Di ba, mahirap kapag may sakit ka? Hindi ka makakain, hirap lumunok. Tapos sasabihin pa ng nanay mo, "Sige na anak, kumain ka na, kahit tatlong kutsara lang." Pagkain nga, ang hirap lunukin, kutsara pa kaya?!

• Kapag iniwan ka ng taong mahal mo, sabihin mo… PASALUBONG!!

• Teacher: Juan, read your 500 words essay to your classmates. Juan: Ok, ma'am! My mingming. Bow! I have a mingming! My mingming is lost. So, I went outside the house and look for my mingming! ming! (480x!)

• Maraming humihingi ng puso ko, lahat sila, siguradong mahal ako. Pero kahit ganun, ayoko pa ring ibigay. Kasi, Ikaw…. Ikaw ba naman ang mawalan ng puso, hindi ka kaya mamatay? =)

• Anak: Inay, ano yung 10 commandments? Ina: Iyon ang 10 utos ng Diyos. Anak: Mas mataas po pala kayo sa Diyos. Ina: Bakit? Anak: Mas marami kang utos eh!

• Guy1: Papalitan ko na ang name ko. Guy2: Bakit, ano bang pangalan mo? Guy1: Joseph Putingtae! Guy2: Ang pangit nga! Ano naman ang ipapalit mo? Guy1: Ricky Putingtae!

• Wife: Hon, sino si Trixie? Husband: Ah, kabayo yun! Yung pinustahan ko sa karera. Wife: Ah, ganon? Sige, animal ka! Sagutin mo yung telepono. Tumatawag yung kabayo!

• Tagalog: Friend, ano ba ang difference ng opinion sa conclusion? Bisaya: Ang tanga mo naman! Papasok ka sa pinto kung opin-yun. Pero con-clus-yon, hindi pwedeng pumasok!

• Ang pagmamahal ay hindi inaasahan, dumarating ng biglaan. Magugulat ka na lang minsan, kapag bumili ka sa tindahan, 1.50 na pala ang isang Boy Bawang! Ang bilis magmahal!

• Erap returns book to the library, bangs it on the table and says, "Too many characters, no story at all!" Librarian: Ah! Kayo po pala ang kumuha ng telephone directory namin!

• Huwag kang maging makasarili. Huwag ka ding maging plastik. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, dito lang ako, takbuhan mo ako at tatakbuhan din kita. Habulan tayo para masaya!

• Ano ang sabi ng panda sa photographer? Dude, ayoko ng black and white ha!

• Ang pagtext ng walang humpay, pambubulabog nang walang sablay, pang-aasar na walang kapantay, mga mensaheng walang saysay, sa Globe, posible!

• Job interview. Boss: Why should we hire you? Tikyo: Mas mabuti po ang bagong tulad ko dahil wala pang sungay. Boss: English please. Tikyo: Well, you see, uh, I'm brand new so I'm not yet horny!

• Once there was a mirror who kills anyone who lie. FVR: I think, I don't smoke. (Killed) Cory: I think, I hate yellow. (Killed) GMA: I think, I'm tall. (Killed) Erap: I think (Killed).

• A kid asked a priest: "Father, besides praying, do you have any other enjoyable past time?" The priest tapped the kid's cheek and calmly replied, "Nun, my child, nun."

• A cardiologist died and was put in a heart shaped coffin. Another doctor laughed when he saw it, he was asked why and he said, "I'm just thinking about me, I'm a gynecologist."

• How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move! =)

• Kung may problema ka, huwag kang magpapakamatay. Isipin mo, kabaong - 10000, burol - 3500, libing - 5000, kape at biskwit - 1500. Kaya kapag may problema ka, itext mo ako. Red horse - 25 lang!

• Si baby centipede, lumapit kay papa centipede. Bumulong, nahimatay si papa centipede. Ano kaya ang sinabi ng anak? Sagot: Pa, bilhan mo naman ako ng Havaianas!

• Want to hear a fairy tale? Once upon a time, Cinderella was so horny. So, she put Pinnochio's nose between her legs and shouted, "Magsinungaling ka, bilis!" Hehehe.

• Sa pag-ibig, lahat tayo, may diskarte. Yung iba, words. Yung iba, actions. Eh ikaw, anong diskarte mo? Basta ako, "Atras si Kris, abante ako!!!"

• Love story ng pokpok at addict. Adik: Will you marry me? Pokpok: Oo, pero ok lang ba sa iyo kahit meron akong past? Adik: Oo, ok lang! Wala naman akong future eh! Hehehe.

• Lasing: Ipako ang mga bakla! Bakla: Takbo mga sister, takbo! Lasing: Ang gagamiting pako ay t*ti! Bakla: Balik mga sister! P*tang ina! Balik!!!

• Live fully, have fun, be crazy, be weird, go out and syempre, manlalaki! Don't try to be perfect, just be an excellent example of being maganda! Go dioza!

• Sa probinsya. Bisita: Tatang, naiinom po ba yung tubig dito? Tatang: Nasa iyo yan anak, kung gusto mong nguyain. May point sya! Hahaha!

• Teenager: Lola, pupunta lang kami sa tipar. Lola: Anong tipar? Teenager: Party! Lola: Puro salitang kalye ang alam nyo! Mga P.S. kayo! Teenager: Anong P.S. lola? Lola: Pakin Shet! =)

• Inside motel after sex, iyak si babae. Man: Huwag kang umiyak, pupunta tayo sa inyo, pakakasalan kita. Woman: Paano kung hindi pumayag ang mister ko?

• A toy, a leaf. A toy, a leaf… A toy a leafin mo kahit hindi batid. Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid!

• Masarap daw umibig. May honey, sweetie, gummy bears, cupcake, sugar at marshmallows pa! Hmm… masarap pala! Bakit may umiiyak pa?! Ahh.. siguro kasi, sumakit ang ngipin nila!

• Some say that as women grow older, they begin to live a PIOUS life. Pa'yos ng eyes. Pa'yos ng nose. Pa'yos ng face. Pa'yos ng boobs. Pa'yos ng bilbil. Ayos na ang lahat!

• Hirap ng buhay! Husband: Ano ang almusal natin? Wife: Nasa mesa. Bahala ka nang pumili! Husband: Isang tuyo?! Anong pagpipilian ko? Wife: Mamili ka, "Meal or No Meal"!!!

• Students talking. FEU: Your tuition, it's just my allowance for a week. La Salle: Your tuition is just my allowance for a day. UP: Yeah! Pero final exam nyo, seatwork lang namin!

• Sino ang dapat gumanap na Bakekang? Si Sunshine Dizon ba? O si Mike Enriquez??

• Punyeta ka! Pengeng french fries!!! Show this at any McDonald's branch and get a free regular french fries. Promo ends till Dec 31, 2006 per DTI NCR permit # 100303.

• All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, fattening, or taken na! Parang wala nang choice kundi magkasala! Hehehe.

• Alam mo, balang araw, magiging presidente yang si mayor. Itataya ko itong p*ki ko! - Cherry Pie Picache in Twilight Dancers.

• The word "miss" is also part of the word "love". So, when someone says, "I miss you!" it also means that they love you! Now, why did I text you? Simply because… may load ako.

• Thought of the day: "Lahat ng problema, may solusyon. Kapag walang solusyon, huwag mo nang problemahin." =)

• A Chinese caught his wife and her lover in 69 position. The Chinese poked a gun at the man and said, "Kaya pala wala ako anak, ako lagay sperm, ikaw sipsip!" Ewww!

• Boy-1: Tanungin mo ako ng English, sasagutin kita ng Spanish. Boy-2: What is more important, heart or mind? Boy-1: Spanish.

• A sad love story. Bf: Huhuhu! Gf: Huhu! Bf: Huhu Huhu! Gf: Huhuhuhu! Bf: Hu hu huhuhu! Gf: Huhu hu! Bf: Huhuhuhuhu! Gf: huhu Bf: Huhuhu! Gf: Huhu! How sad! =(

• Quote for the day: "Kung kaya ng iba, ipagawa mo sa kanya!"

• Mommy: Ang anak ko? Gifted child ito noh? Sige nga anak, i-prove mo sa kanila. 5268 + 982 + 7605 + 863. What is the sum? Child: The sum is… the center of the solar system! =)

• Erap at Starbucks. Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga! Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba? Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup! Bakit, may nakaplato ba?!

• I opened the door of your heart and saw that it was full, so full! I couldn't enter anymore. I closed the door and stood outside thinking, "Ang daming pangit, nakakaOP!" =)

• Kapag masaya ka, masaya rin ako! Kapag bad trip ka, bad trip din ako! Kapag malungkot ka, malungkot din ako! Kapag nasasaktan ka, nasasaktan din ako! Bakit?! Wala lang! Coincidence.

• What do you call a naked, sexy, beautiful woman on the arm of an ugly poor man? Eh, di tattoo!

• What is shock? It is when a man is having sex with a pregnant woman and suddenly, a hand grabs his dick from the inside!

• James Yap: Kris, panglima na ba ako na lalaki sa buhay mo? Kris Aquino: Hindi ha, sa totoo lang, thirty-something na! =)

• Ako, bad, maingay, magulo, makulit, tigas ulo, at higit sa lahat, pasaway. Pero ito lang ang masasabi ko sa iyo… isa ka pa! Hehehe.

• Marami ang nagtatanong sa akin kung bakit daw lagi akong masaya. Akala nila, wala akong problema. Ngumiti na lang ako at sinabi na, "Marami akong problema, maganda lang talaga ako kaya hindi halata."

• Konserbatibong bagong kasal sa kanilang honeymoon. Lalaki: Darling, ok lang bang pasukin ko ang hindi pa napapasok ng iba? Babae: Darling, hindi kaya ako mabingi?

• Man asks pet shop owner how much is parrot on the left. "$50,000 because he knows how to work Windows and Office." How much is parrot on the right? "$80,000 because he knows how to make and administer a website." How about the parrot on the middle? "$100,000, I don't know what he does but the other parrots call him boss."

• Guro: Anong meron sa Pangasinan? Jinggoy: Hundred Islands! Guro: Sa Albay? Bong: Bulkang Mayon! Guro: Eh sa Banaue? Lito Lapid: Uhm, Kwan po ma'am, car accessories! =)

• Sa buhay, lahat ng first ay masarap. First love, first kiss, first date, first… Hmmm, basta lahat ng first, kaya nga I want to be the first one to greet you. Merry Christmas! Hehehe.

• Bakit may litrato ng boyfriend ang mga babae sa wallet? Kasi, para pag may problema, tititigan nya at sasabihin sa sarili, "Kung ito nga, nakayanan ko, ibang problema pa kaya!"

• Sabi nila, ang panget daw, itinadhana para sa maganda at gwapo. Napaupo ako sa isang tabi… Badtrip! Ibig sabihin, para sa pangit ako?!

• Ang mga babae daw ay parang alak. Edad 17-18, lasang Shandy. 19-25, like Champagne. 26-35, Brandy. 36-45, Whisky. 46-50, Ginebra. 51-55, Rubbing Alcohol. 56 up, formalin.

• Judge: Isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay? Accused: Aba'y meron po sir, pulis po ako!

• Ilusyunada! Kahit kailan, hindi yan mangyayari dahil pangit ka. Panget, panget, panget! Panget ka! - Vangie Labalan, Bakekang.

• Lola: Sino yang kasama mo? Apo: Boyfriend ko po. Lola: Aba, bata ka pa, lumalandi ka na! Pasok sa loob! At ikaw lalaki… "Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Apo: Lola, ang landi moh!

• Teacher: Kung meron akong limang anak na babae at pitong anak na lalake sa una kong mister at apat na anak sa pangalawa kong mister, samakatuwid… Student: Samakatuwid, ilusyunada at ambisyosa ka sir! Bakla ka sir! Bakla! Classmates, bakla si sir! Nyahahaha!

• Nainis din ako nung nabasa ko ito…

• Pedro: Pare, pinapili ako ng misis ko, pag-ibig daw ba o kaibigan? Juan: So, kaya ka nandito ngayon dahil pinili mo ang kaibigan? Pedro: Pare, hindi eh. Pag-ibig ang pinili ko. I love you, pare!

• Sa lahat ng mga quotes, ito ang pamatay! Bang! (+.+) Hehehe!

• Ang love, parang sintas ng sapatos. Dalawang dulo ang kailangan para mapagbuhol, pero isang dulo lang ang kailangan para kumalas. - Mr. Quickie.

• Dying husband: I have something to tell you. Wife: Don't speak, just rest. Husband: No, I must confess, I had sex with your sister and your best friend. Wife: Sshhh. I know! That's why I poisoned you!

• Ku ka ki ka ka ku kata ke ko ku kika ki kuka ko kika. Kuko kiku kuki ka. Congratulations! You have successfully learned the monkey language! Come and claim your banana!

• God saw your parents hungry, He created pizzas. God saw they are thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw them walking, He created car. He saw them without problems, He created you! =)

• News Flash! Danielle Radcliffe better known as Harry Potter is gay! He admitted it in The Insider. =)

• Doctor talking to moms: Mahilig ka sa sweets, so you named her Candy. Mahilig ka sa pera, so you named her Penny. Third mom, tumayo. "Let's go Dick, bago tayo mainsulto dito!"

• Paano if one day, sabi ni Doc, you need a new nose or else, hindi ka na makakahinga. Nagpaopera ka, nang matapos, ask mo kung sino ang donor? May inabot na note, sabi: Ingatan mo ang ilong ko, love, Mike Enriquez.

• Limit your sex life. Do it only on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tonight, Tomorrow, Tatorday, Tanday, Taumaga, Tatanghali, Tagabi at Tahapon!

• Magiging star ako! - Alma Moreno in Bombastar.

• A story that can be read only by Smart people… *The end* May nabasa ka? Wala, di ba? Ako rin eh, wala! Globe kasi tayo. Kung Smart ka at di mo nabasa, matakot ka!

• A gay was joining the army but came late for the physical examination. The men ahead of him were all naked ready for inspection. He look and shouted, "Dios ko! Maloloka ako! Ano ito? Eat all you can?" =)

• Sa loob ng sinehan. Bf: Love, ang sarap ng boobs mo, ang daming katas! Uhmm, nakakagigil! Gf: Aray! Bwisit ka, dahan-dahan lang! Pigsa ko yang nasipsip mo! Yuck!

• Juan: Doc, uminom ako ng Viagra kahapon ng umaga. Till now, matigas pa din. Doctor: Naku, next year pa lalambot yan. Juan: Ha? Bakit? Doctor: Tingnan mo ang expiration, 2007 pa!

• Thought for the day, "Dont think while your mouth is open." Magmumukha ka kasing tanga!

• If there comes a time that you will just wanna sit and cry, tell me. I won't cry with you nor give advice, but I'll be there sitting with you, holding your hand saying, "Yan, Redhorse. Oh, tahan na!"

• Umiyak ako kay G*d before. Tanong ko, "Bakit po palagi akong nalalayo sa mga kaibigan ko?" Niyakap nya ako at sabi nya: "Kasi anak, angel ka at aswang sila, magkaiba kayo ng level!"

• Why do cows get pikon after being milked? Kahit sino naman eh! Ikaw na ang gisingin ng 4:00AM, lamasin yung dede mo ng 2 hours, tapos, hindi ka naman pala isesex! Nakakapikon, di ba? =)

• Mag-ingat sa mga lalaking "Uy ay!" Uy! May kotse, ay! hiram pala. Uy! Gwapo. Ay bungi! Uy galante! Ay, ang daming utang. Uy! Macho, ay! supot pala!

• Madre: Father, ginaw na ginaw ako. Pari: Ako rin sister! Gusto mo bang gawin natin ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa? Madre: Oo father! Pari: Sige, ipagtimpla mo ako ng kape!

• Are you free tomorrow? Kasi, gusto kitang kausapin! I just want to clarify something! Kung ok lang sa iyo. Meet tayo ng 4:30PM sa harap ng newly opened na Jollibee, sa Lebanon!

• Sa isang mumurahing airline. Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner? Passenger: Ano ba ang choices? Stewardess: Yes or no lang po!

• Nang ipanganak ako, meron akong sungay. Maaalis lang daw yun kapag may kaibigan akong mabait. Nang makilala kita? Hanep friend! Nagkaroon pa ako ng buntot! You're the best!

• Dad: Anak, ibili mo nga ako ng softdrinks. Anak: Coke or Pepsi? D: coke. A: Diet or regular? D: Regular A: Bote or in can? D: Bote A: 8oz or litro? D: Punyeta! Tubig na lang! A: Mineral or natural? D: Mineral A: Malamig o hindi? D: Tang na! Hampasin kita ng walis eh! A: Tambo o tingting? D: Hayop ka! A: Baka o baboy? D: Lumayas ka! A: Ngayon o bukas?

• Sabi nila, hindi daw kayang bilangin ng tao ang bituin. Bakit nabilang ko? 3,276,791,548. Kung ayaw mong maniwala, bilangin mo kung mali ako. Ulitin mo at baka ikaw lang ang mali.

• Dalawang baliw sa mental. B1: Pare, tatakas tayo. B2: Paano? B1: Aakyatin natin yung bakod, tatalon tayo palabas. Sumilip si B2 sa bintana. B2: Pare, malas, hindi tayo makakatakas. B1: Bakit? B2: Walang bakod!

• We must value each precious moments: Mornings bring hope, afternoons bring faith, evenings bring love and nights bring sex. Sana, palaging gabi na lang no?

• When you were born, nagalit si Satan, sabi nya: Shit! Another angel! When GMA was born, tumindi ang galit nya and said… "Patay na. Eto na ang papalit sa akin!"

• Amo: Knock knock! Chimay: Who's there? A: Amo mo! C: Amo who? A: Tang*na mo inday! Papasukin mo ako, tanga! C: Tanga ka! Kumatok ka kasi. Hindi isinisigaw ang knock knock! Bobo! Ampota!

• Gf, may tinga sa ngipin. Bf: Love, hulaan ko kung anong ulam nyo kanina! Gf: Talaga? Sige nga, ano? Bf: Tingin ko, Kangkong! Gf: hahaha! weeh… mali! Kahapon pa po yun noh!

• Juan: (galing eskwelahan) Tay! Ang mga classmates ko, zero lahat! Ama: Hahaha! Ang bobo naman ng mga classmates mo! Ikaw? Juan: Magpapatalo ba naman ako? Syempre, zero din!

• Tatlong tanga, nagsisiksikan sa maliit na kama. Tanga1: Pare, hindi tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa. Sa lapag na lang matulog. (Bumaba si Tanga3). Tanga2: Hayan pare, maluwag na, akyat ka na dito!

• Sabi nila, karaniwan sa magaganda, tanga. Kasi, karaniwan sa tanga, marunong magmahal, walang expectations, walang paki! Ang mahalaga, mahal, kagaya ko, aminadong tanga! Maganda ako eh, paki nila?

• You and your best friend planned to have a dinner with your special someone in your birthday. You are so excited and your best friend comes first in your house. You are both so happy and were chatting, watching while waiting for your special someone. It was 12 midnight then and the power went out. The phone rang and you answer it while your bestfriend is looking for a candle. When you answer the phone, your special someone told you that your best friend was in the hospital and was dead. You saw him smiling at you, holding a candle and says, "I will miss you forever, happy birthday!"

• Always maintain a balanced life. Be strong but not rude, humble but not weak, kind but not timid, confident but not arrogant, and best of all, cute, pero kunwari, hindi alam.

• Hirap umibig, hirap din umiyak. Hirap magmahal, hirap din masaktan. Hirap umasa, hirap din mabigo. Pero mas mahirap sa lahat… maligo na walang tabo, tapos pambuhos mo bote ng YAKULT!

• Mahirap magmahal ng patago, kasi baka mahalin ka rin nya ng patago. Kung ganon din lang, wag na kayo magmahalan! Magtaguan na lang!

• Isang gabi, nanaginip ka. May isang batang nadapa, tinulungan mo sya. Nagulat ka nang yakapin ka nya nang mahigpit at sinabi nyang, "Isinilang sana ako kung nagkatuluyan kayo, nice meeting you mommy!"

• Riiiiinnnnnng! Riiiiiiiiiiinnnnng! Kris: Banker? Salamat!

• Nun: I was raped… what shall I do? Mother Superior: Here, take this calamansi. Nun: Will this ease the pain? Mother Superior: Sipsipin mo! Nang mawala ngiti sa mukha mo, Bwiset!!!

• Man: Ne, anong pangalan mo? GRO: Paquita po! Man: Aba, antigo na yang pangalan mo. Bihira na ang may ganyang pangalan. Sino yung mga kasama mo? GRO: Yung nakaputi, si Pahipo. Yung nakapula, si Pahiga, at yung nakastripe, si Patuwad.

• Saan ka na? Magreply ka naman. Andito kami, naghihintay sa iyo sa may GMA Studio. May taping tayo ngayon sa commercial ng Safeguard. Bilisan mo, ikaw ang germs! hahaha!

• Wife: Honey, kapag hawak ko ang bote ng softdrinks na ito, naaalala ko ang ex-boyfriend ko. Husband: Eh ako, kelan mo ako naaalala? Wife: Kapag subo ko na ang straw.

• Can heal all wounds, time can give you another chance, time can help you forget, time can let you move on. Dati, ang alam ko lang e time is gold! Improving! =)

• Tatanggalin na ang 26K girls sa Deal or No Deal. Macho men na ang ipapalit na nakasuot lang ng brief na may mga numbers. Kaya ang sasabihin na ni Kris, "Men, open your brief case!" Exciting!

• Globe advisory: Salamat sa paggamit ng Globe Unlimitxt. Ang walang load ngayon ay maaari munang magpagulong gulong at tumalon talon para malibang ang sarili. Salamat.

• Sa isang museum… Lalake: Ito bang pangit na ito ang tinatawag ninyong "art?" Ang pangit! Nakakasuka! Painting ba ito? Guide: Hindi po sir. Salamin yan!

• Minsan, sa dami ng problema, gusto kong umiyak at tumakbo sa malayong malayo, kaso… as usual, tinatamad ako.

• Sa isang haunted historic place. Babae: Baka may multo dito! Guide: Sa tagal nang work mo dito, wala pa akong nakikitang multo. Babae: Whew! Gaano ka na ba katagal nagwowork dito? Guide: 285 years na. Awooo!

• Mister: Kapag namatay ka, isusulat ko sa nitso mo, "Malamig nung buhay, mas malamig nung namatay." Misis: Ah, ganon ha! Sa nitso mo naman, ilalagay ko, "Sa wakas, tumigas din!" =)

• Sa bakery. Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake. Ale: Bah, sosyal ka! Namamalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake! Ito ang dalawang pandesal. Pulubi: Hindi po pwede, kasi, birthday ko ngayon!

• Why are Egyptian children always confused? Answer: Because after death, daddy becomes the mummy.

• Priest (in Malacañang): Next Sunday, I'll preach about the sin of lying. To understand more, I want you all to read Mark, chapter 17. (Next Sunday) Priest: How many of you read Mark chapter 17? (Only GMA's hand went up!) Priest (smiled): Mark has only 16 chapters. Let's now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.

• Just imagine life without girls. The results… Telephones silent. Malls empty. Shoes and bag industries closed. All mobile companies in loss. No cosmetics. No flowers. No valentine's day. No jewelries. No perfumes. No travelling. Devastated economy. But all men go directly to heaven!

• Faces in text. naexpired na unlimited. after sex. :-< pretending na demure. pacute na smile. :0 imbyerna sa buhay. %-) bangag/lasing. B-) nakakita ng prospect.

• Ako, Edward, pinakasalan kita dahil mahal kita, pero pati ba naman mga katulong, dapat kong pakisamahan? - Sharon Cuneta, Madrasta.

• Teacher: Ano ang ating pambasang hayop? Nagsisimula sa letter K! Student: Kabayo? Teacher: Mali! Nagtatapos sa letter W. Student: Kabayow? Teacher: Mali, may sungay ito! Student: Demonyong Kabayow?! Teacher: Get out!

• Doc: What happened to your vag*na? Ang laki! Girl: I was raped by an elephant. Doc: But elephants have small d*cks! Girl: Ampotahnang yun! Fininger muna ako! Shet!

• Meron ka na lamang 6 na oras para mabuhay! Kung nais mong magregister muli para patuloy na mabuhay, reply BUHAY. No need to reply kung hindi mo na nais i-extend ang iyong buhay!

• Anong tawag sa kuto na nasa ulo ng kalbo? Eh di homeless! Boink!

• One day, a sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac were talking in a psychic ward… Sadist: I'm bored, why don't we torture a cat? Zoophile: Yeah, we'll torture it and then f*ck it! Murderer: We'll torture it, f*ck it and then kill it! Necrophile: We'll torture it, f*ck it, kill it and f*ck it again! Pyromaniac: Yeah! Then, we'll burn the cat! … Sudden silence… Then, all asked the masochist, "Why he didn't say anything?" Masochist: Meow!

• Heartthrob ba ako? If yes, huwag kang magreply. If no, itext mo sa akin ang tagalog ng toothpaste, cake, roller coaster at ng remote control.

• Police arrests a prostitute who protests: I am not selling sex! Cop: Then, what are you doing? Prostitute: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms and offering free demo!

• A good husband was asked. Do you sleep with other women? He replied: I sleep only with my wife. With other women, I stay awake all the time!

• News: GMA kidnapped by terrorists. $5 million ransom demand or she'll be set on fire. All donations appreciated… so far, 500,000 liters of gasoline received! Hahaha!

• Minsan, nakakapagod maghabol at makipaglaro ng taguan sa taong mahal mo. Pero alam mo, mas nakakapagod at mas mahirap magtaguan lalo pa kung ikaw ang taya sa Mall of Asia! =)

• It's nice to wake up, and sleep again, di ba?! Good morning!! =)

• Have you experienced doing things that no matter what you do, you just can't? I have. I tried to drink up all the water from the drinking fountain, ang hirap pala! =)

• Nung bata ako, tuwing may kasal, lagi akong tinutukso nina lolo at lola, "Uy, sya na ang susunod." Tumigil lang sila nung may libing at tinukso ko sila ng "Uy, sila na susunod!"

• Sa isang ospital. Lola (may cancer): Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin? Doc: Che-chemo lola. Lola: T*ti mo rin! Bastos ka! Walang modo!

• Paano ba ang tamang pagbati sa umaga? Good morning! Luma na. Gud am! Maikli. Magandang umaga! Tagalog, baduy! Alam mo kung anong masarap pakinggan? Eh di, "Hi, cute! Gising na!" =) Smile ha!

• Two boys talking and reached the topic about love. Boy1: Pre, kumusta ang lovelife mo? Boy2: Wala, ganun pa rin. Boy1: Bakit pare? Kayo pa rin? Boy2: Hindi pre, ikaw pa rin!

• Sa tuwing tampuhan, madalas sabihin, "Sorry, hindi ko sinasadya." "Sensya na, hindi na mauulit." "Galit ka pa ba?" Hindi ba mas masarap pakinggan kung sasabihing "Eto one thousand, bati na tayo ha?"

• Ang tunay na cute, mahiyain, tahimik at higit sa lahat, makakalimutin. at.. at.. at.. ano pa nga yun? Shocks! Nakalimutan ko na naman. Nakakahiya tuloy.

• Boy1: Bakit bad trip ka? Boy2: Tampo sa akin ang utol ko! B1: Bakit naman? B2: Nakalimutan kong birthday nya! B1: Yun lang? Anong masama dun? B2: Masama dun, twins kami! Twiiiinnns!

• Ngiti ka para mawala problema… ngiti ka kaibigan. Ngiti ka kahit kanino, ngiti lang nang ngiti. Isang paalala mula sa Philippine Mental Hospital.

• There's no special reason kung bakit ako nagtetext. Gusto lang kitang abalahin, kasi, alam ko na busy ka. And hope to make you smile and say, "Hehehe, si [______] talaga, papansin!"